


Timeparadox

by Tolaya



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Alternate Universe, Consequences, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, M/M, Past/Present, Regret, reunion?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-01-10 00:16:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 32,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1152535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tolaya/pseuds/Tolaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captured by the Autobots, Starscream is faced with the greatest mistake of his life while waiting in their brig.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Incensed Starscream stares at the dull grey walls of the Autobot brig, the hideous orange color at least not carrying into these momentary quarters of his. Even if he wants to push his capture aside as pure luck on the Autobots’ part he knows that it isn’t so. He had been completely outmaneuvered when Megatron called retreat, the Decepticons’ goal for the raid fulfilled, and while his comrades had retreated strategically he should have been there to guard their rear together with Skywarp.

But that was when it happened. When HE happened. The new Autobot Air Commander.

He hears the door to the brig swoosh open and footsteps coming closer. The echo in the large room tells him that they are three. Hiking his wings high on his back, keeping it turned to the outside world he narrows his optics at the dull grey wall.

When the footsteps stops and shadows are cast into his cell he scowls. He just wants to be left alone until Megatron has negotiated for his freedom.

“Starscream.”

The voice is a soft rumble and even as guarded as he is about his defiant high held wings he can feel how they begin to tremble at the sound of that voice. It is almost as he remembers. It has been no more than a few months since he last heard Thundercracker speak, but this isn’t his Thundercracker, that blue seeker is gone. Never did exist.

If he had known that sending the Aerialbots back in time would take Thundercracker from them he would never have accepted it and fought Megatron on the issue. Now he can only watch impotent as his trine no longer are a trine while the Autobots gains a strong and versatile ally in the blue seeker.

“Let me talk to him alone.” He hears the blue seeker gently whisper the order and the affirmatives from the others informs Starscream that the ones flanking Thundercracker had been Silverbolt and Air Raid. When the footsteps die out and silence fills the brig again Starscream feels conflicted.

What does Thundercracker want?

“Starscream.” The gentle murmur of his name finally breaks him, and he hesitates a bit before he turns around to face the blue seeker. Up this close he can see the intricate tattoos covering practically every surface of the blue plating, describing all the accomplishments the ancient seeker in front of him has accomplished in the service of the Winglord and before there even were one. He remembers them from his time at the Academy. Senior Flight Instructor Thundercracker, Seeker of First Degree, Warrior during the Quintesson War. And one of the oldest still living seekers.

No wonder Megatron had wanted the seeker on his team. But Thundercracker was and is one of the most righteous beings ever sparked and he would never have accepted Megatrons proposal back then. Pit, even after the planned ambush that killed his wingmates and the following reprogramming, reframing and retrining Thundercracker had still showed clear doubts in the Decepticon Cause. But even if he had had his doubts, his sparkbond with Skywarp had kept him in line and willing to fight, murder and kill.

But now…

Staring into the blue optics of the seeker Starscream feels like screaming to let the world know his loss, sorrow and powerlessness.


	2. What you do is what you are

Next time Thundercracker enters the brig he is alone. When Starscream checks his chrono it shows that only a few days has passed since his capture.

“No chaperone this time?” he sniffs in disdain. He hates the Aerialbots and what they have done. If they had just lost themselves in time as had been expected this wouldn’t have happened.

The genuine laughter at his obvious insult takes him by surprise and when he looks up the blue optics are sparkling. Scowling he turns his back to the blue seeker deciding to ignore the fragger.

Slowly the laughter dies down and then silence takes over. It is almost deafening and Starscream wonders if Thundercracker has left. When he turns to look he is shocked to see the ancient seeker sitting on the cold floor studying him with calculating optics.

Before he can open his mouth to voice out a scathing comment, Thundercracker speaks.

“The Prime has told me everything.” the blue seeker rumbles in the voice just a bit softer than what his trinemate’s voice had been.

At the words Starscream flinches and his wings flare high on his back. Why is Thundercracker telling him this? Why is he here? Why is he so interested in Starscream? Alert, he retreats a bit further into the cell putting more space between them. He is at the blue seeker’s mercy if Thundercracker decides to do anything. He is weaponless, smaller than the other and even if he led his blue trinemate through all those vorns of war the seeker in front of him is millennia older and far more experienced.

A slight hurt is evident in the blue optics and the wings lowers on the blue seeker’s back at the sight of the flared but trembling white wings, conveying Starscreams unease and fear of him.

“Starscream you know that I’m not like that. Never once have I hurt you or your troublesome trinemate during your time at the Academy even if you at times warranted punishment.” The ancient seeker murmurs softly, servos open and reaching, yearning to touch to sooth but knowing that doing so is going to be a big mistake.

“This is war.” Starscream whispers back, feeling like a youngling again when in the company of the old seeker.

“It doesn’t matter Starscream. I don’t like this Cybertronian against Cybertronian war you all have going, and I have told the Prime that. But the fact is, I can’t return to my time. I’m stuck here in the future and while you all have fought this war for thousands of vorns, to me it still feels like yesterday I graduated you and your trinemate from the Academy.” Thundercracker explains, and at the sight of the lowering white wings he smiles reassuringly.

“To me you are still that impossibly clever young seeker who challenged me in everything.” He adds with a wide smile.

“But…I thought you hated me for that?” Starscream frowns.

“Asking questions and challenging the here and now is healthy and something I wish more had done. I’m sure we wouldn’t be here now if that had been the case.” The blue seeker sighs.

After a moment of hesitation Starscream scoots closer to the vicious bars separating the two seekers and curious red optics shines brightly. “Why are you here, now, Thundercracker? Why are you so interested in me?”

“Because I remember the promising duo you and Skywarp were. And for me it has only been a few vorns since I let you graduate. I remember your potential. I want to make you remember. War is never the solution. Even if everyone glorified it, the Quintesson War was a desperate measure. We had no other choice but to fight. We were slaves to our masters. There was something to fight for; our right to live and be free. Tell me, what do you fight for now? The right to destroy? The right to enslave others?” the ancient seeker asks in a tone devoid of any accusation.

“I…” Starscream realizes that he has no valid answer beyond those already provided by the blue seeker and suddenly he feels a bad taste in his mouth. Those aren’t even valid answers, but how the Decepticon Cause has become. Every single one of the answers he recognizes as the only valid ones belongs to the Autobot Cause.

‘What have I done?’


	3. I trust you to not betray me

"Prime do you have a moment?" Thundercracker asks, sticking his head in through the open door to the Autobot leader's office.

"Of course Thundercracker. What can I help you with?" the Prime asks with a smile at the blue seeker as he waves the seeker inside his office. Few of the autobots are as welcoming as the Prime, and Thundercracker accepts that after thousands of vorns with seekers as the enemies, it is hard for most of them to suddenly accept one as an ally.

"It is about Starscream…"

* * *

Starscream looks up when the door to the brig suddenly swooshes open, and curious he looks to the guard currently on duty. A shrug meets his inquiring stare and then the guard turns to the newcomers. Newcomers because he can hear several voices talk.

"I must protest Prime. I can't allow this!" Redalerts voice rises in volume as the group walks into the brig.

"And I must insist." Thundercracker's rumbling voice is calm but determined.

"But the security risk! And what if he turns on us?!" Redalerts voice sounds panicky, accusing and high-strung.

"Redalert." A deep sigh. "I know you don't trust me yet with my perceived past, but I am not that mech." Thundercracker argues exasperated. He has been there for months, has Ratchets word that he isn't that Thundercracker they have fought all the war, that they might have the same spark, but that the identity is completely different, and the security director still doesn't trust him.

"I agree with Thundercracker in this." The Prime breaks in, silencing Redalert for a moment. When it is clear that the red and white mech is about to make new protests Optimus raises his hand to stop the coming argument.

"I know about you reluctance, but with how Megatron has been acting, I fear that we will have Starscream in our care for a while longer until he stops refusing my calls to begin negotiations. Until then I am duty bound to make sure that any prisoner in our care remains healthy, both physically and mentally and Thundercracker has made a valid point." Optimus explains and he can see the building ire in the other.

They stop outside his cell and puzzled Starscream looks to Thundercracker who just sends him a small smile.

"I have been talking a bit with Starscream, and we have come to a little understanding. And if you don't trust him to not try and flee, just know that I have proved capable of incapacitating him on my own." At the last words the blue seeker sends Starscream a telling glance, and a wry smile forms on the tricolored seeker. He never could outpace the instructor during his time at the Academy, and the easiness with which Thundercracker had outmaneuvered him at his capture shows him that he will not be able to lose the blue seeker in a fair one on one fight in the air.

"Fraternizing with the enemy! He can't be trusted Prime! He could be a spy trying to free his comrade!" Redalert screams in protest.

Thundercracker shoots the security director a deadpan-look.

"I was the one to bring him in in the first place. Why in the Pit would I then try to free him?" The classic deep frown is there on the blue seeker's beautiful faceplate and Starscream fights to stifle the laughter threatening to escape his vocalizer. He had never realized how paranoid the Autobot Security Director actually was.

* * *

"Frag this is goooooood…" Starscream moans while he leisurely stretches his wings in his flight.

"I thought it was about time to get you out of there, at least for a short while." Thundercracker answers the joyous response from Starscream as he flies close by the tricolored seeker.

This close the sound and powerful thrumming of the blue frame is soothing on him, he can almost pretend that it is his trinemate flanking his right. Just for a little while he can escape reality and drown in memories of flying with both his trinemates. Distractedly he wonders what Skywarp is doing back at the Nemesis. The old Skywarp would have popped in and tried to free him, but ever since that day where they woke and Thundercracker simply wasn't there, the teleporter has been distant. They both remembered their blue trinemate while it seemed everyone else more or less just had forgotten he even ever existed.

To lose ones spark bonded like that… Starscream shudders when he remembers Skywarps broken state. His spark remembers the connection, but it is simply gone as if never existing.

Several blips on his radar/localizer draw his attention just as Thundercracker hollers him in a serious voice.

"Starscream we need to turn around." The blue seeker calls to him.

Ignoring the blue seeker for a moment he transforms and stares into the distance.

There!

A black and purple frame of a seeker is just visible among other frames.

It is the decepticons.

"Starscream!" Now it is a clear order and still he hesitates to comply.

When Skywarp is so close that Starscream can discern the red of his optics the seeker vanishes in a puff of purple. Emerging from his teleportation Skywarp unleashes the first attack on the blue seeker, anger and sorrow fuelling his rage.

Then the rest of the group catches up with the black and purple seeker and it turns into an outright beating with several mechs pouncing on the lone blue seeker. It is brutal attack and Starscream, completely torn just hovers and watches the harsh treatment.

It is first when he hears the soft "Star…" that he rouses from the trance-like state he had been in. Black arms hugs him close to a frame drenched in energon and swallowing hard he realizes whose energon is coating Skywarps frame.

"Thundercracker…" he croaks.


	4. Blind faith and haunting guilt

It is night on Earth. Nothing is moving far down below the surface of the Atlantic Ocean. Only the few decepticons on alert to any Autobot attacks are awake and sitting in the command center, scouting for any unusual movement around the sunken space ship.

But what is this?

A faint swoosh sounds in one of the silent corridors and a frame emerges moments later from a door looking suspiciously up and down the empty corridor.

With a last look at the still recharging Skywarp, Starscream gently closes the door and heads towards the brig.

It still amazes him how resilient this Thundercracker is. Not that his trinemate had been weak, not at all. But even his trinemate would have succumbed to the severe damage and energon loss the instructor had suffered at the hands of the decepticons.

Cringing at the small blips when he codes the door to the brig open he listens for any sound for a moment before walking inside, closing the door behind him and locking it, overriding any attempts to enter while he is there.

Walking down the rows of cells he stops at another door, this one secured with not only passwords, but CNA identification. Using his own code and verifying his identity with a sample of his own energon the pad lights up green and the heavy door begins to slide aside, allowing him entrance into the high-security part of the brig.

Stepping into the darkness, he adjusts the light in the room to 10% to not startle the prisoner he knows is there.

“Thundercracker…” he murmurs gently into the smaller room with a few cells at each side.

Nothing.

Stepping further into the room he looks into the cells he passes and finally stands in front of the captured blue seeker.

Dull blue optics shines in the darkness and wrists fights weakly against the heavy shackles restraining the blue frame to the wall at arms and feet.

“Thundercracker…” It is barely a whisper, as he stares horrified at the sight of the ancient War Hero reduced to this.

“St-…St-…St-scrm?” the blue seeker’s weak static-filled voice inquires, optics brightening a bit as Thundercracker tries to focus on the shape in front of his cell.

A choked sob escapes Starscreams vocalizer at the sound.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Thundercracker.” he croaks, legs trembling and threatening to drop him to the floor.

“It-…gna-…b-…kay. Bn-…n…wrs.” Thundercracker tries to sooth, but all it does is to cause Starscream to outright break down and sob shamelessly. Drained by most of his energy, damaged, captured and still Thundercracker is trying to comfort HIM, Starscream, when it is Thundercracker who is facing whatever Megatron has planned for him.

The only light in the darkness is the fact that Thundercracker is secure and safe (the thought almost makes him laugh hysterically) in the high-security part of the brig. No one but officers is able to enter that part, and thus the seeker is safe from the depravity most of the decepticons enjoys to put prisoners through.

“B-…strn. D-…fgt-…w-…I…tgh-…y.” Thundercracker says, and Starscream sees the small smile on the seeker’s lips before Thundercracker succumbs to unconsciousness.

With a lone tear traveling his cheek Starscreams gathers himself and with a determined expression turns to the device controlling the continued drain of energy from the prisoner. Tweaking it a bit he lessens the drain slightly. He knows why it is in effect. It is there to prevent Thundercracker from having the energy to utilize his sigma ability. The only reason for why the blue seeker is in the high-security part. They wouldn’t be able to hold him in a regular cell.

Then with a set scowl he turns and leaves the room, sealing the prisoner safely behind dual locks once again.

When he returns to his quarters, Skywarp is still recharging peacefully, and carefully he lowers himself onto the berth and snuggles in close to the black and purple frame. There he just stares into the darkness while his processor is racing with several outcomes of the next coming days until recharge finally claims him.


	5. Forbidden desire

Starscream onlines his optics as he wakes. Something feels wrong.

“Ah, you are awake.”

The soft rumbling voice jolts him fully awake, and when he tries to move he realizes that he is restrained to the berth. Lifting and turning his head as much as he can to find the owner of the voice he finds Thundercracker calmly relaxing at the console, blue optics burning with a strange fire.

“How did you-“

“-get out?” the blue seeker breaks in, silencing him as he stands and walks closer to the berth and the bound tricolored seeker.

Relaxing back onto the berth now that Thundercracker is in full view and standing above him, Starscream frowns as he inspects the other. There is no sign of the damage the seeker sustained; in fact he looks completely healthy and energized.

“Yes.”

“You all forgot that I until recently lived in the golden age. And a warrior learns to always have something at hand in any case.” The blue seeker smiles as he withdraws a little cylindrical gadget.

Groaning frustrated Starscream looks away, deeply ashamed of his own and his faction’s stupidity.

“I see you recognize it.” Thundercracker laughs.

“A booster.” Starscream answers plainly, feeling so stupid. That little gadget had held a liquid solution with the conjoined effect of ten potent energon cubes, enough to jumpstart any system in dire or critical situations.

When Thundercracker sits down beside him on the berth, their plating touching and sending strange tingling sensations through his frame, Starscream turns his head to look up at the seeker.

“What else do you have in that subspace of yours that we haven’t managed to take?” he asks curiously.

“If I told you, I would have to kill you.” The blue seeker answers with a smile, his optics roaming the prone frame beside him.

“Really?” Starscream snorts.

“Really.” Thundercracker answers, suddenly looking very serious. Then the expression cracks and the smile returns.

“Would you really…Oh Frag!” Starscream is cut off at the feeling of questing fingers suddenly caressing down the inside of his thigh, and the feeling is forcing deep moans from his vocalizer while he stares with wide optics at the blue seeker.

The gesture seems innocent enough, if not for the sly smirk ghosting on the edge of Thundercracker’s lips.

“Th-Thundercracker?” he moans, deeply shocked.

“Oh, don’t mind me. Carry on in what you were about to say.” the blue seeker answers innocently, his blue optics a deep indigo.

“I…” he tries and then buckles when Thundercracker’s questing fingers touches deliberately to his valve cover. With a processor being swamped with pleasure and growing need it is hard for him to think and his frame has its own life when it desperately seeks the touch when the fingers is removed. A whimper and a needy whine leave his vocalizer when Thundercracker rises from the berth.

“My little Starscream.” The blue seeker gently murmurs as he walks to the end of the berth and kneels between the tricolored seeker’s spread legs, enjoying the sight of the other this open and vulnerable.

Another needy whine escapes him as he looks down his frame at the seeker poised in a relaxed position between his legs. Every sensor in his frame screams for the other to touch him, to feel the intermingling of fields again and just…just feel!

“Th-Thunder…Please… I-… I need…” He sobs, frame trembling with the growing need as Thundercracker just sits there and watches him come undone.

“Shhh. It is okay little seeker.” the blue seeker sooths, and finally he begins to caress the burning hot plating, soothingly stroking one of the tricolored seeker’s thrusters while he smiles reassuringly.

With a choked sob Starscream loses himself to the caresses and offlines his optics, thoroughly enjoying the nice feeling the touch creates in his frame. This distracted he isn’t aware when Thundercracker begins to move his caresses up his frame, going to the knee-joints, then the hip plating, moving his frame along as his touch ventures higher and higher on the tricolored frame, reaching the cockpit and rubbing the resilient glass.

When Starscream onlines his optics again, Thundercracker is practically straddling his hips while he mouths at the cockpit glass, wet trails of lubricant smearing on the translucent glass. A low groan and rattling of the chains causes Thundercracker to look up and fiery red burns into searing blue for a moment, their lust completely naked to the other.

A reaching hand and Starscream leans into the touch when Thundercracker gently caresses his cheek, optics not wavering one bit.

“Thundercracker…” He whispers, tone begging, begging for the other to take him, to claim him, to do to him whatever the blue seeker wants, as long as he fragging takes him!

“Starscream…” Thundercracker gently murmurs.

“Starscream.” This time distorted.

“Starscream!”

“Starscream. Wake up! It is time.”

A rough shake and shove and Thundercracker slowly dissipates as Starscream begins to wake from the dream.

With bleary optics he looks up at Skywarp, a moment’s confusion making him look around for the blue seeker.

“Wha-?” he asks dumbly.

“It is time. We are getting our trinemate back.” Skywarp exclaims giddily.

‘No!’ Icy fear encases Starscreams spark at the words.


	6. Underestimating the prowess of your enemy gets you killed

After several thousand vorns of war mechs tends to forget. Mistakes happen and you have to take the consequences of these mistakes.

This time the first mistake happens when an extremely dangerous prisoner is released from his cell. The second is to be negligent to the accomplishments this prisoner has accomplished during his long life. The third is to underestimate the danger the prisoner represents when free of the confines keeping him docile and only having a handful of guards escort the prisoner to the prepared procedure designed to turn him into a useful tool.

A fully charged sonic boom is the consequence of such mistakes and miscalculations. In close proximity it is simply devastating, mercilessly tearing into structures and mechs alike, creating massive destruction in its wake, if not outright killing the unfortunate being too close when the weapon is released.

A deafening klaxon begins to blare through the whole space ship, voicing warnings about hull breach, flooding on several levels of the sunken space ship and even as the impersonal voice talks the sonic shockwave travels along the whole structure, rattling everything on its way until it finally abates when the charged outgoing energy is spent, absorbed by the space ship's structure.

"I think we found our objective." Jazz comments to Mirage, whistling impressed at the sheer force of the shockwave he feels through the floor. And they are still only in the back of the space ship, far from where Thundercracker is. It is clear to the two spec ops mechs that the Autobot Air Commander has held himself back in the direct confrontations with the decepticons during his time with the Autobots.

When another boom sounds they set in motion towards the source. "Might as well see if he should need our help." The saboteur grins to the towers mech. With a nod Mirage checks the effect of his cloaking device and strengthens its field around them as they begin to move into the hot zone.

* * *

Earlier:

When Starscream this time enters the high-security part of the brig, Thundercracker remains unmoving. He is almost convinced that the blue seeker is unconscious or in stasis-lock. But something tells him that that isn't the case and unease begins to settle in his spark.

What is Thundercracker planning?

"What a pathetic sight." Skywarp sneers beside him, and Starscream glances at the black and purple seeker out of the corner of his optic.

"Yeah… Yeah." He adds, but his voice holds no true conviction. While Starscream seems to have softened since the loss of their trinemate, Skywarp has become dangerous to be around. Become unstable, more reckless and merciless.

Silence.

Then a vicious snarl before Skywarp throws him against the cell opposite Thundercracker's.

"What is it with you?!" the teleporter growls, cold red optics staring daggers at the momentarily shocked tricolored seeker. Then Starscream regains his wits and with narrowed optics and a snarl of his own he forces the black and purple seeker back.

"None of your business!" he growls menacingly before he begins to tap at the keypad beside the blue seeker's cell. A klik later the energon bars dissipates and with another few taps the shackles restraining the seeker releases their hold on wrists and feet, dumping the seeker lifelessly to the floor.

At the sight Starscream frowns and tentatively walks into the cell, fingers roaming the seemingly unresponsive frame.

"He isn't dead already, is he?" Skywarps voice sounds behind him, and even if the seeker tries to hide it, Starscream hears the underlying worry in the voice. Primus forbids anything to happen to the teleporters future sparkbonded.

"He is okay Sky. Don't worry." The tricolored seeker reassures as he watches fingers move almost imperceptibly while the lips moves almost soundlessly, whispering so low that he himself barely can discern what the blue seeker is saying.

But this close he hears the whispered numbers and recognizes the specific movements of the fingers while Skywarp remains completely ignorant to the silent communique between them.

With an almost imperceptible nod of his own, he begins to lift the seeker from the floor, supporting Thundercracker's head against his neck and the feeling of the lips touching his sensitive plating sends small tremors down his frame.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me get this fragging heavy frame out of here?!" Starscream snarls to Skywarp while struggling to keep standing with Thundercracker resting his whole weight on him. When Skywarp moves to help him, he hides his movements against the blue seeker's side, entering the small latch there and activates the miniature keypad hidden behind.

Secretly tapping the code given by Thundercracker a little hatch opens beside the latch and as he discreetly reaches his hand into it, his fingers closes around the only item stored, withdrawing it unseen and closes the subspace again. Storing the item in his own subspace he redoubles his effort to get Thundercracker out of the high-security part of the brig and to the guards waiting inside the regular part of the brig. There he and Skywarp hands over the blue seeker to the guards and as they leave the brig they take up front, wings hiked high on their back.

But even as he keeps up the defiant front, daring anyone to interrupt them in their quest to complete the Command Trine once again, inside he is torn. His subspace feels like burning, housing the item entrusted to him by the prisoner. Should or shouldn't? His mind is battling a raging internal fight to decide what cause of action to take.

Then they are already there and he is out of time.

Seeing the large pitch black CR chamber ready to accommodate the reprogrammed and reframed blue seeker when the procedure is complete he finally makes the decision. With steely red optics he stares fixatedly at the prone blue seeker held among the guards and motions for them to place the seeker on a berth beside the one supporting the seeker's new and modern frame.

"I'm sorry Thundercracker." he murmurs; voice loud enough to be heard by everyone in close vicinity. Then he surprises everyone when he reaches into subspace and in a fluid motion stabs the booster directly into an exposed energon line in the blue seeker's neck, pushing the plunger flat against the cylinder, releasing the whole content into the blue seeker's frame, praying that he didn't chose the wrong energon line and that the boost doesn't go directly to the spark instead of the surrounding fatigued and energy suppressed systems.

"What are you doing?!" Skywarp screams horrified. Desperate he tears the booster out of the energon line, but it is already too late. Systems begin to whirr for a few kliks only to shut down completely a moment later. "No. No, no, no. NO!" Skywarp chants terrified when any sound from the frame just silences.

Starscream stares just as terrified at the prone, now completely lifeless frame. 'I hit the wrong line. I killed him. I killed him… I…killed him.' Tears begin to well up in his optics and he fights greatly to prevent them from falling.

"I'm… I'm sorry Sky. It… This shouldn't have happened." He solemnly apologizes to the completely devastated black and purple seeker, stepping closer to his trinemate to try and sooth.

Consumed by grief none of the seekers pays any attention to the prone frame. None of them sees the tell-tale signs. It is first when they are both practically thrown away from the berth by the seeker and lands on the floor a distance away that they are aware that Thundercracker isn't dead. The following powerful sonic boom throws them further away in the room, wounds happen on their frames while energon lines ruptures. But even if their damages are extensive they are the only fortunate in the room, the harsh shove by the blue seeker bringing them at a safer distance before the weapon unleashes.

Through cracked optics Starscream sees the blurry shape rise from the berth followed by two heavy 'clanks' and the sound of transformation before the sound of rendering metal reaches his audios. Another sonic boom is released and he guesses reinforcements must have arrived to stop the seeker from fleeing.

Heavy footsteps and he feels Thundercracker's field mingle with his. Looking up, the blurry shape is standing above him, yet the sound of metal hitting metal continues with following screams, grunts and groans. Somehow he is elated that the blue seeker is alright, but scared shitless as well at the emotions he senses through their intermingling fields. Gone is the stoic, calm and collected flight instructor he remembers so well, in his place he senses a ruthless warrior.

Just when unconsciousness finally claims him, the damages and loss of energon too great for him to remain conscious he frowns when he hears a voice above the sound of the fighting.

"Holy PRIMUS Thundercracker!" Jazz exclaims in deep awe at the sight of the blue seeker in the middle of the energon soaked battlefield the CR chambers' room has been turned into.

Standing in the middle of the massacre, Thundercracker is poised in a defensive stance above Starscream and Skywarp, fending off the last decepticons in the room. Gone are his wings, instead an ancient shield and sword is held in his hands, both dripping with energon, the sword faintly glowing light blue.

"Na'hïl and Fraÿor." Mirage comments fascinated at the sight of the ancient weapons. Seeing Jazz's confusion the towers mech elaborates "Together they are "Freedom of the will." I'm sure you have heard about them in that context. I saw them portrayed in some of the wall murals adorning the Towers as well as the Halls of Primus. But I didn't know Thundercracker is the wielder. Legend spoke that they were lost a few thousand vorns after the Quintesson War. But that clearly isn't so."

"And if Megatron had known I'm sure he would have used the chance to get his hands on them." Thundercracker breaks in, straightening and easing out of the defensive stance now that his enemies are either dead or dying. "In that you are all lucky that I kept the secret to myself." He adds before he releases the magnetic field securing the weapons in his hold and allows them to transform back into his wide sweeping wings.

To that Jazz snickers. He would really like to see Megatrons face when the warlord realizes what a great mistake he made back then by scrapping the blue seeker's ancient frame and with it the two most legendary weapons in all of the cybertronian history.

"You have to tell us how you ended up with these legendary weapons someday Thundercracker. I'm sure it is a story of marvel." The saboteur demands eagerly.

"It isn't as glorified as you would think." The seeker snorts brusquely.

"Still want to know." Jazz chimes in.

"Very well." Thundercracker sighs, "But that is for another time. Care to help me with these two?" the blue seeker points at the two unconscious seekers at his feet. Bending down he takes the empty booster out of Skywarps hand and subspaces it before lifting Starscream from the floor and tugging the damaged tricolored seeker close to his frame. He is still bursting with replenished and excessive energy after the fight and when the boost had taken effect all he could do before unleashing the devastating sonic boom had been to shove the seeker away before Starscream could suffer the full effect of it.

"My little Starscream." He murmurs gently before stepping out of the room and walking down the corridor towards the location of the emergency entryway the spec ops usually use when in need to leave the enemy base in a hurry.


	7. Confessions and revelations

When Starscream regains consciousness it is to a dimly lit room. Looking around, his optics slowly adjusts to the dim light and as he takes in his surroundings all he sees is a small sparsely furnished room. There is no indication of the owner, but the scent of flight grade energon is enough for him to know. The cube giving off the scent is conveniently placed at the stand beside the berth and as he reaches for it he relaxes a bit when nothing restricts him in the movement.

Sitting up with the cube held securely in his right hand he gives the room another glance and this time he instantly sees the small slot of light from the slightly ajar door leading into another room.

Soft murmuring reaches his audios and curious he leaves the energon cube at the berth, standing and walking to the door to look into the other room.

Greeting him is the sight of sweeping blue wings, a strong back and a perfect aft as Thundercracker is leaning over his desk, unaware of the spectator to his unintended flaunting of assets. Even flustered and blushing heatedly Starscream is unable to divert his optics from the gorgeous sight. Then he frowns.

'Why am I reacting like this?' Granted Thundercracker is gorgeous, but so had his trinemate been. And even if the frame is different it shouldn't awake feelings and reactions like this. It is his old flight instructor for Primus' sake. But even that fact doesn't calm his wildly pulsing spark one bit.

'You miss him and you are trying to find someone to fill the gap the loss has left inside you' a small voice sounds in his mind and he solemnly has to agree. Just before he leaves the door to go back to the berth and the energon cube a movement draws his attention and a vicious flare of jealousy takes hold in his spark at the sight of hands, white and grey hands, making sweeping movements across the blue wings and eliciting a pleasured reaction from Thundercracker. The sight of the blue seeker throwing his head back, moaning soundly with pleasure rises his core temperature slightly, but the sight of a hand groping a wing tip instantly kills the charge in his frame. Whoever it is who is fondling the instructor, the mech is dead!

A low dissatisfied growl escapes his vocalizer and horrified at the sound he stumbles away from the door, almost tripping over his own feet in his hurry, but managing to catch himself before he makes more noise and draws attention. Shaken by the sight and his own reaction he sits down on the berth and grabs the cube. Swallowing the fuel in large gulps he tries to force the image of the hands on Thundercracker's wings out of his processor, but fails miserably.

It figures that the blue seeker has found together with someone during his stay. His wingmates are after all dead. Still Starscream feels disconcert at the fact that the blue seeker and his new mate? lover? friend? dare to indulge in such actions when they know that he is there and accidentally could happen upon them.

"Starscream?"

He jolts at the sound of his name and to his horror he senses Thundercracker just outside the door to the berth room. Fight or flight? His instincts is screaming at him to react, that he has done something shameful, seen something he shouldn't, has been caught and now Thundercracker is going to admonish him. In his panic he completely forgets everything about the fact that it probably had been the blue seeker placing him inside the berth room in the first place.

"Starscream, are you okay?" Thundercracker asks, his voice filled with concern.

When the small slot of light grows with the opening of the door Starscream flinches away, scurrying towards the far corner of the berth until he reaches the wall and is completely trapped.

As the blue seeker enters the room another frame fills the door and Starscream is unable to stop the vicious hiss at the sight of Fireflight.

"Leave." Thundercracker orders coldly, optics an icy blue and for just a klik Starscream is certain the blue seeker is talking to him, but when the aerialbot sheepishly murmurs an apology and leaves, puzzlement fills the tricolored seeker's optics.

Staring warily as Thundercracker makes no move to get closer, Starscream curls a bit more in on himself in the corner of the berth, legs held taught against his chest while his hands grips his knee-joints tightly.

"Can I sit down?" Thundercracker asks in a soft voice, a hand in a slow and controlled move gesturing towards the part of the berth furthest away from the huddle tricolored seeker, wings drooping slightly at the sight of the distraught seeker.

Red optics narrows suspiciously at the question, but a small nod follows a few kliks later.

With a glance to the open door and the light spilling into the dim berth room, Thundercracker sits down on the berth and scoots against the wall, in safe distance away from Starscream, but not restricting the access to the door and freedom if Starscream should want it. At the sight of his only means of escape no longer being blocked by the blue seeker's frame Starscream relaxes a bit and slowly unfurls from his cramped position against the corner of the berth.

"What is going on? Why am I here?" the tricolored seeker asks in a small quiet voice. His optics roams the blue seeker's relaxed frame for any indication of deception. 'Where has my trust gone?' he idly wonders as he waits for Thundercracker to answer his question. 'Oh yeah, it flushed down the drain when I realized that he isn't who I thought he is.' Starscream reminds himself, remembering the feeling of their fields intermingling and sensing the ruthlessness filling the blue seeker. 'He killed my comrades-in-arms in cold energon not even feeling anything while doing so.' Then again, the decepticons hadn't really been his comrades any longer at that point with the tricolored seeker giving Thundercracker the means to fight back. And the blue seeker had done so marvelously while defending him in the process. Still, Starscream is greatly unnerved at the pure destruction Thundercracker had been and is capable of.

Looking up from where he has been staring at the floor, Thundercracker turns to look at Starscream.

"I thought it would be better for you to wake up here instead of in the brig…" the blue seeker answers with a small smile on his lips and a shrug. A brief emotion flashes in the blue optics and it is gone before Starscream have the chance to read into it. Then Thundercracker looks away, his gaze going towards the floor once again, but he isn't done talking.

"I hope I didn't presume too much?" blue wings drooping further on his back while his voice holds uncertainty.

A hope beyond hope stirs inside Starscream at the carefully voiced question. Does he dare to believe? And more importantly, does he dare to trust?

"What about-"

"-Fireflight?" Thundercracker softly breaks in as if reading the question right out of his mind. "I guess you saw us." a simple statement.

Reining in the explosive feelings filling his spark at the thought of any of the Aerialbots, he quells the rising hate and nods. "Yes."

"My wingmates are dead. My spark is unstable. It needs the connection to another spark regularly to remain stable. They, the Aerialbots, have provided me that stability. It is nothing more. Fireflight simply forgot that you were here." Thundercracker apologizes in a voice tinged with sorrow while a telling sadness fills the blue optics.

"You didn't only lose your wingmates, did you?" Starscream asks with a growing feeling of dread as he reads between the lines.

"No. Solarstorm. He was my sparkbonded." The blue seeker whispers.

Guilt grasps mercilessly at Starscream's spark. They hadn't known. The information they had gathered on the blue seeker told only about a friendly companionship between the three seekers. Nothing indicated the existence of a sparkbond.

If…

If Skywarp hadn't…

If the spark hadn't been supported by another bond of equal strength…

Their plan to bind the blue seeker's loyalty through a sparkbond had saved the seeker in the end. If they hadn't, then Thundercracker would have withered away without anything able to stop the process.

And with a sudden horrible revelation Starscream realizes that that is what is happening to Skywarp now. How could he have been so negligent towards his own trinemate? Just because the black and purple seeker's bond didn't break due to Thundercracker dying, it doesn't mean that the withdrawal hasn't taken effect. It would certainly explain the instability and change in his trinemate's demeanor.

Canting his head when Starscream remains silent for a while, Thundercracker flares his field enough to gently touch against Starscream's. Sensing the distress in the other seeker, the field expands when Starscream doesn't protest and soon the tricolored seeker is encompassed in a field giving as much as taking reassurance and support.

"I'm fine Starscream. Ratchet managed to stabilize me when the Aerialbots brought me with them through time. As long as I spark merge regularly I'm going to remain healthy." The blue seeker reassures with a small smile, but it is clear to Starscream that it is a forced smile. It doesn't reach the blue optics, and Thundercracker still has an air of something around him. As if something is missing.

"Does it have to be them? Can't I or Skywarp do it?" the tricolored seeker asks, fighting greatly to keep the low growl out of his voice at the thought of what the Aerialbots has been doing with…yeah no longer his trinemate, but he can't stop thinking about Thundercracker as somehow still his. Powerlessness grips at his spark when he realizes that he actually no longer does have any claim on the blue seeker. Thundercracker is free to choose who he wants to be with, and if it isn't Starscream…or Skywarp for that matter, then he is forced to accept it.

"No. But Ratchet pointed out that flier sparks is the most suited, because of the direct compatibility of the frequency, easing the siphoning of the needed energy from the 'donor' spark as he termed it." the blue seeker explains almost clinically, optics once again fixated on the floor and not seeing the happy flutter in Starscream's wings at the words, but sensing the change in their intermingling fields. Gone is the choking despair previously dominating the tricolored seeker's field. Instead Starscream's field clears with determination and a feeling of hope.

Looking up, his own field flutters with a weak hope that he doesn't even dare to think about.

That small guarded flutter is all Starscream need.

Flaring his own field to encompass Thundercracker, he closes a bit of the distance between them and kneels, reaching a shaking hand towards a blue wing. When it connects with the plating he feels the traces of the tattoos all over the surface and curios he follows the lines carved into the plating. He never knew they were so much a part of the seeker. From a distance they look like painted on. The strangled moan when his fingers trace the current tattoo to the wing hinge enflames him with boldness and burning desire.

But when he keeps fondling the hinge a warning growl sounds from the blue seeker and the room lights up momentarily as an electric current seemingly originating from within the wing travels the surface of the wing, lighting up the tattoos on its travel across the plating.

Fascinated Starscream takes in the sight of the whole wing suddenly alight in blazing blue.

"You need to stop Starscream. That was a warning." Thundercracker pants lightly. The touch to his wing had felt divine, but the continued touch to the hinge had caused an alert to happen on his HUD and if Starscream continues to stimulate the wing hinge like that, systems are going to interpret it as an attempt to tamper with the weapons and do much more than just light up in a marvelous lightshow.

"What is it?" the tricolored seeker asks curios.

"I can show you in a merge. You need to remember I'm ancient. My frame is different from those you are used to. Only my wingmates knew how different I actually am from everyone else. Most just know me as the legend from the Quintesson War. Few know about my past before the war happened. I have had to sacrifice so much, and I still need to be cautious. My wingmates made willing sacrifices to be able to be together with me, a sacrifice not seeming as much to you, but to me…" The blue seeker explains. The sadness is back in the blue optics and Starscream removes his fingers from the wing, studying the other concerned.

"It is okay Starscream. I am okay." Thundercracker reassures. Then the smile suddenly changes, widening and a shudder starting in the blue wings takes hold of the blue seeker's whole frame. Longing and need fills their still intermingling fields and Starscream feels the yearning in Thundercracker as if it is his own need.

The next klik their lips are touching and he whimpers when Thundercracker takes control and deepens the kiss while forcing him to lie back on the berth. His protests are muffled by their connected lips and die completely when the hand supporting his head as Thundercracker had forced him to lie down, sweeps his right wing. After that he gives completely into the advance, melting into the frame pinning him to the berth and eagerly welcomes the continued kisses and touch to his frame.

"No more stalling." Thundercracker roughly whispers when he breaks the kiss, the other hand coming up to rub at Starscream's cockpit glass. A weak moan escapes the tricolored seeker, the feeling of the blue seeker's hands on his frame enflaming him with desperate need and his spark pulses wildly at the sight of the lust filled deep indigo optics staring down at him.

And this time he knows it isn't a dream. This time nothing is going to interrupt them.

This time…

A gasp is wrought from his vocalizer at the feeling of Thundercracker's lips touching his neck, glossa sweeping across the sensitive lines and wires forcing even more pleasured and delighted sounds from him.

Wide blue wings are flared high on the blue seeker's back as Thundercracker ventures lower and lower on his frame, peppering his cockpit with small kisses and languid strokes of his glossa on the smooth surface. He can feel Thundercracker smile against the smooth glass when a particularly choking moan is forced from his vocalizer as the expertly skilled glossa begins to gently trace along the sensitive transition separating his cockpit glass from his burning hot plating.

"Are you ready for me?" Thundercracker purrs hoarsely, still mouthing kisses along the rim of the cockpit glass, his lust turning his voice into something sinful, coaxing and utterly irresistible.

There is no thought. There can be no thought. Not with the pleasure swamping his whole being, and before Starscream is aware his cockpit is splitting, revealing his sparkchamber and next his spark in its most vulnerable and exposed state. Thundercracker can kill him with one swift move, but so wound up as he is Starscream doesn't care.

"P-Please…" he manages to force through his vocalizer before he is lost in the wash of pleasure taking him hostage and he willingly drowns.

A blinding light, and through hazy optics he stares at the beautiful sapphire spark that is Thundercracker. A small needy whine leaves him and then the blue seeker is lowering, intent to connect their sparks and Starscream can feel how his spark almost strains to reach for the other, anticipating and awaiting the moment where they finally touch.

"Yes. Oh yes." Thundercracker groans when the two sparks begin to merge into one entity for the duration of the merge. The blue seeker shudders delightfully at the feeling of being able to merge completely with the other. While the Aerialbots is able to merge enough with him to provide him with what he need, the merge can never be a full one when done with members already bonded as the young gestalt is.

But this…

This is pure and simple bliss for a spark who has longed for that deeper connection and for the chance to lose itself completely inside another.

Then memories begin to flicker. Some his own, others clearly Starscreams.

Taking control of the merge, remembering the promise to show, Thundercracker searches in his spark's memories for the moment defining who he is, and the forging of his own sentience as well as the repurposing of the weapons which became so legendary with his first free and sentient action.

* * *

The change had begun slowly. The awareness of I and ME began to take up more and more focus inside his processor until questions began to arise.

Who am I?

What am I?

Why am I?

And then the more complex ones follow.

The more define questions.

Why am I doing this?

I see the pain, the fear.

I hear the screams.

I smell the smell of energon, stale and nauseating.

I feel the give of plating.

What am I doing?

What is my purpose?

* * *

Once again I wake as if from recharge and the mech before me shows nothing the others had. It puzzles me. Why isn't he afraid? Why doesn't he try to flee me? Why is he…walking calmly towards me? Those optics showing no fear fills me with a strange serenity and I hesitate to release my weapons.

He stops when only mere footsteps separate us and I can so easily draw my weapons and cut him down. Yet, he just stands there, looking at me with those optics that conveys so much more than the calmness his whole being exudes.

"You don't need to do this. You don't need to obey them." the mech tells me in a voice just as calm as his field. He is here to be killed. By me. But he doesn't seem to care.

"D-Don't talk to me." My very first words. I'm so shocked that I take several steps back and my hand touches to my throat feeling the hardware there.

"There are others like us. Break their hold on you. Free yourself of their shackles." The calm optics turns to our surroundings. All around the arena the spectators are screaming, calling for energon, this mech's energon. And I am their tool.

Tool…

The word does something to me. My head is dizzy with confusion, the sounds not helping me to think. It still feels so unnatural.

A stab of pain inside my processor and a warning flashing on my HUD. I sag and he reaches for me.

"No." I croak, the pain filling my vocalizer as I feel how my wings flares, trembling with the urge to be released, to do what they have been forged to do, to execute this prisoner, this slave who has dared to stand up against his Masters.

"I am Alpha Trion. Who are you?" His voice is innocent, as if he doesn't know what damage his words causes inside me.

"I'm…"

"I'm…"

"I'm…" no one.

Slaves don't have names. Slaves are no one and nothing compared to our Masters.

But…if that is so…then I'm a slave as well.

And the mech in front of me is not, yet he isn't one of my Masters.

Doubt rises in my processor and I shake my head, trying to clear it enough to understand.

"W-Who are you?" I ask. Demands.

"A sentient being." is the cryptic answer. "Just like you." He then adds, causing more damage to my scattered processor.

"Who are you?" he then casually asks, and I wonder if he didn't already ask me that.

But my processor begins to process the question and something seems to click into place inside me, because the pain slowly begins to fade as my thoughts begin to more freely take over my mind and the confusion seems to clear.

"I'm…"

"I'm…"

"I am THUNDERCRACKER!" my vocalizer suddenly roars when my processor aligns with the change happening inside me and sentience finally takes over completely, leaving me a thinking being instead of one mindlessly following orders.

With sentience, feelings occur and a burning rage takes over my spark.

Through fluid, powerful jumps I'm suddenly several levels above the floor and looking down at the mech still standing inside the arena looking curiously up at me, his optics strengthening me and a smile urging me on to do my very first action as a free sentient being.

With determination I look up, scanning the rings surrounding the arena for the target I know I need to deal with to win my freedom. Hovering for several kliks, my wings keeping me airborne in those important moments until my optics lands on my target, I use the surface of the ring just below me to leap and give me enough momentum to bring me to the upper ring.

In my quest everything else is forgotten. I don't pay attention to the panic around me, or the weapons being trained on my frame. My only goal is to reach that ring and my Master.

Somersaulting as I reach the right altitude, my wings finally releases, the heavy clanks before the weapons begin to transform sounding above all the noise, almost stopping time before they connect to my hands. I feel everyone's attention on me as I wield the shield protectively before swinging the sword and drawing my Master's life fluids in one sweeping movement.

"I AM THUNDERCRACKER!" I roar, screaming out my defiance for all to hear and claiming my freedom at the same time.

* * *

Coming to, Starscream stares perplex up at Thundercracker's still offline frame.

He is utterly speechless as his processor tries to digest the fact that…

No. It is all so surreal.

But his optics lingers heavily on the blue wings.

"Freedom of the will." He whispers almost silently.


	8. Further revelations and complications

"You aren't just ancient, but one of The First." Starscream states in awe the moment he senses the blue seeker rouse from recharge, his head canting slightly to catch the sight of blue optics onlining. He has been awake for a long while, thinking and digesting what he learned through the merge last night.

"Does it surprise you so much?" Thundercracker asks curious. Everyone knows he had been there during the Quintesson War, how surprising could it be to realize that he didn't just pop up in the middle of it from out of nowhere?

"It's just…surreal to believe that you are that old. We all know that the Quintesson War lasted for almost half a million vorns. I never imagined that you were there from the very beginning, before it even was a war, and you are still functioning now, a few million vorns later, no worse for wear." Starscream answers hesitantly, still affected by the revelations during their merge and the fact that the wing he currently is relaxing his head against is… Well, he doesn't know if it is the sword or the shield, but it is unnerving no matter which.

He is going to be edgy for a while around the blue seeker, and hesitate to touch. Even now he fights the urge to move, to lay his head in the crook between Thundercracker's shoulder and neck even if that position is going to be unpleasant.

"I'm not that easily subdued, as you have realized by now." The blue seeker explains with a wry smile, canting his head to look at the other seeker.

Starscream just remains silent before he answers with a little smile of his own as their optics locks. Then the wing beneath his head begins to move, folding down along the blue seeker's frame and he gasps in surprise at the uncommon flexibility. He just stares with wide optics as Thundercracker rearranges himself to lay on the side, full attention on Starscream, a single finger traveling the sleek curves of the his frame, gingerly beginning at the juncture of his neck and venturing down to his hips, circling the transformation seam there before subtly dipping into it and follow the seam until the finger is unable to move further, but then Thundercracker is touching the rim of his pelvic plating, and Starscream is venting shallowly, his mouth dry and cooling fans on the verge of activating in response to the sudden heat in his frame.

Then the touch is gone, but it leaves behind a scorching hot trail all over his frame and the plea for more is about to leave his vocalizer, his lips wanting to speak the words.

But when Thundercracker abruptly rises from the berth, leaving him behind in his desperate needy state, anything he wanted to say is forgotten. Instead he reaches for the blue seeker in a pathetic display, silently begging for Thundercracker to return, to feel that field with the seductive promises mingle with his again.

There is a moment of silence, while Thundercracker stands still in the middle of the berth room, his wing unfolding, then the blue seeker turns, and Starscream knows that their happy little moment is gone, and that there will be no further playing around, at least for now.

"I'm sorry Starscream. Ratchet is summoning me." Thundercracker explains apologetically, but even if he is apologizing, he is actually relieved for Ratchet's pinging. Otherwise he might have done something he would regret deeply. For a moment he had completely forgotten everything, and in his mind Starscream had become Solarstorm.

He almost flees the room, just barely remembering to tell the tricolored seeker the code to the energon dispenser before leaving.

* * *

Raised voices permeate the heavy doors into the medical bay, and anyone passing at this very moment would be able to hear the words almost as if they were standing inside the room. But while most of the words are common cybertronian, another language is working its way into the heated argument between the two mechs inside.

"Stupid, foolish Serkhar! You are risking everything in a moment's weakness!" The voice is gruff, slightly distorted when the mech reverts to ancient cybertronian. It has been a long while since he last took the ancient glyphs in use, but his anger makes him throw any caution to the wind, and fuck anyone happening on them and hearing him using the words he shouldn't even know.

"Did you only summon me to rant, or do you have a purpose for me to be here?" Thundercracker asks, indignantly letting the old term for his being go.

"Fireflight told me you didn't use him last night." The voice states coldly, direct and accusing.

"And?" The blue seeker asks calmly, but there is an undertone that the other instantly tunes in on. "I'm not their plaything. What we have been doing is strictly necessary medical precaution. Nothing more. I am free to choose who I want to merge with, and if it isn't one of them, then they have to accept that this isn't some kind of claim they have on me." The seeker adds with a rumbling growl.

"But seriously Thundercracker. Starscream of all mechs?" The disdain in the voice is thick with prejudice. 'A 'con is always a 'con' is the clear message and it riles the blue seeker in a way taking them both by surprise.

"Rachïar!" The blue seeker roars, taking a threatening step towards the other mech, looming above the smaller frame in an impressive display. And had it been everyone else but this mech, they would have cowered by now.

"Don't you dare call me that!" the mech growls in warning, optics looking to the closed door.

"Mehilïs!" the blue seeker snorts, laughing as the other's face almost turns as red as the symbol adorning his frame. "Well, if I can't call you by your name, then I suppose I need to use your profession." Thundercracker states, while looking completely innocent with tears in the corners of the optics from laughing.

"I wonder what 'Trion would say if he saw you like this." Ratchet sighs, giving up on admonishing the unruly seeker.

That firmly erases any humor from the seeker. Blue wings lower completely on the massive back and a slight tremble travels through the whole frame ending in the highly communicative appendages.

It is a low blow, and Ratchet knows it.

"I'm sure he is okay. I know you don't know it, but when you went missing some of the other's took that as a sign and went off world. They are still out there somewhere." The medic tries to reassure.

"Is 'Trion one of them?" the seeker asks hopefully.

"I don't know. He just vanished suddenly. None of us could find him, just like we couldn't locate you. Then they found your wingmates in the ruins of a completely devastated area far from any city-state. But there were no sign of you beyond the telling traces of your sonic booms having torn asunder the buildings in the whole area. They filed it away as an accidental explosion, but 'we' knew the truth. Less than a week later Megatron proudly displays his new Command Trine in a devastating attack on Helix. Imagine our horror when a seeker carrying your name is flanking Starscream's right. You. Our protector. Our guardian. Reduced to a mere peon in the hands of a mad mech." Ratchet painfully retells his memories to the seeker, staring into nothingness as he speaks.

"Rachïar…" Thundercracker murmurs the name softly; taking the last step that separates the two and kneels to hug the other close. "I'm here now."

Offlining his optics for a moment, Ratchet melts into the powerful frame of the protector. He can never think about the seeker in any other way. They have been through too much together to forget all the atrocities the guardian suffered to keep them all safe during the worst times of the Quintesson War. For a very long time Thundercracker had been the only one among their slowly growing group of sentient former slaves able to fight and it shaped him, shaped his personality. He became what was needed then, and after their transition into the modern frame types he remained unchanged. Na'hïl and Fraÿor was one of the reasons, his wish to keep being their guardian angel, even in a post war society, another.

"How are your wings? How are Na'hïl and Fraÿor? I hear you drew them on the decepticons the other day. Did the transformation go smoothly enough?" Ratchet asks, his hands reaching and examining the wings meticulously.

"Your work is as always flawless Ratchet. Thank you for saving my wings and my frame." the blue seeker smiles, shivering at the feeling of the medic's expert hands digging into seams and testing the wires below the armor.

"It is good I still kept my knowledge of your frame type in my database. And you are a lucky serkhar. No one else would know what to do with your special and foreign design and with how damaged you were when they brought you to me it is no wonder Megatron back then just transplanted your spark into a new frame." the medic smiles sadly.

"There is something I need you to do Ratchet." Thundercracker breaks in, hands gently gripping the medic's arms and coaxing the hands on his wings to stop their examination.

"Anything malfunctioning?" the CMO asks, optics narrowing and the seeker can see how the gears begin to move inside the medic's processor to figure out what might be the problem.

"Ah...no. Not like that. It's just… Starscream became a bit eager and… well you know what happens." Thundercracker explains, counting slowly to five, audials already tuned down in anticipation of the lecture of profane curses the medic surely is going to release when the meaning finally dawns.

"No. Oh No Thundercracker. Don't tell me you interfaced with him as well! Of all irresponsible…" before the vicious tirade even has begun it is swiftly silenced by a hand covering the medic's mouth.

"Not that! I'm not that stupid. I know what happens! No, I meant that my defensive protocols activated when Starscream played a bit too much with Fraÿor's hinge." The seeker hisses in a low voice staring indignantly at the medic, deeply offended that Ratchet would think him so thoughtless to even engage in interfacing.

Not that he doesn't want to… but… well it is complicated.

When he removes his hand Ratchet manages to look apologetic for a brief moment, then it is gone.

"Give me a moment to locate the right hardware connector and I will take a look." The medic tells the seeker, pointing at a free berth while distractedly roaming around in his subspace for the right part to connect him to the seeker's systems.

"When we are done here I have something else to talk to you about." Ratchet adds offhandedly when he flips a latch and connects to the port at the side of Thundercracker's neck. There is silence between them for a few minutes before the medic speaks again.

"There is a level three warning still active in your systems. I will need to take a closer look at the hinge. It might just be a twisted wire or something. I'm sure he got the whole lightshow then?" Ratchet adds wryly.

"Oh he did." The seeker snorts, "Wanted to know more. So curious. Just like the young seeker I remember."

"What did you show him then?" the medic asks, stopping in his work and frowning.

"My forging into a sentient being." Thundercracker answers with a smile.

"And he still wants you after seeing that?!" Ratchet asks incredulous. He has only heard what happened from Alpha Trion, but that had been enough to make him nauseous. It still unnerves him to this day that 'Trion so fearlessly had gotten himself captured on the weak possibility of gaining a strong ally in the Quintessons' own executioner. If he had been wrong in his report about favorable changes in the serkhar, Alpha Trion would have been killed that day, all because of Ratchet. Or, Rachïar as his name had been back then.

But his report had held true. In one sweeping move the small group of sentient transformers had gained a protector, able to fight and protect them against the oppressors while they gathered more of their own kind. Meanwhile they had an enemy less; since the Quintesson Thundercracker had killed had been one of the Magistrates.

"I don't think he knows what he wants Ratchet. He still suffers the loss of his trinemate and so far I have been a familiar presence, reminding him of what he has lost, but still different enough to know that what he had is gone. If he still had believed that he would be able to regain his trinemate, he would have gone through with the reprogramming. And he would be dead now." The blue seeker's voice starts out soft and slowly grows more cold and determined, the last sentence stated in an almost clinical tone devoid of any feelings he might have for the tricolored seeker.

"True. I did wonder why you didn't kill them that day you were captured. Six or was it seven mechs against you? They would have stood no chance." Ratchet snorts. "By the way. I want that booster back! It is sparse enough as it is, I don't want my special tech to go vanishing." The medic growls, hand outstretched, demanding the small gadget.

"Just because I have the power doesn't mean I need to use it." Thundercracker answers before handing over the booster. "I'm sorry that I haven't managed to refill it yet." He apologizes when Ratchet tugs it safely into subspace before returning to work on locating the issue in the wing causing the warning to remain active.

Thoroughly examining the surface of the hinge and finding nothing out of place or twisted Ratchet carefully delves into the mechanics of the structure, feeling for anything unusual. A small 'ha' and then Thundercracker feels a moments excruciating pain before the tension he didn't know was there eases in the wing and his systems slowly returns to an 'all clear'.

"You are the only one who would dare such a move Rachïar." The seeker comments, his spark pulsing slightly faster than just a moment before, and not because of the short moment of pain.

"I have been your medic for how long?" Ratchet snorts. But when he turns his back to the seeker for a moment, a silent curse escapes his lips. Thundercracker's words are like a slap to his face. They had seen it before. The weapons activate a level one warning and imminent activation following from just a mere touch. For a moment images of the mutilated corpses of the autobots flashes in his processor and once again he curses himself for his forgetfulness.

When he turns back to the seeker, there is nothing to see on his expression.

"How are the inhibitors?" He asks casually, his own spark pulsing fast in his chamber. These weapons aren't of cybertronian origin. They are a completely immersed part of the seeker's systems, and reacts upon Thundercracker's feelings and actions. During the Quintesson War they decided to install the inhibitors when they realized that even as controlled as the seeker's personality is, he still possessed a danger to everyone around him. Attuning the friendly targets' EM fields to the inhibitors installed in the advanced Quintessonian weapons system in the serkhar they lowered the danger towards their own, while Thundercracker remained as deadly and swift against their enemies.

"They are fine. They are as strong and efficient as always. And don't worry Ratchet; I can see you are tense. I'm not going to slaughter you all while you recharge. There was no reaction at all. And you have been my medic for as long as I have been a sentient being. You are attuned, classified as no threat with a note that you have a few sadistic streaks now and then." The seeker laughs, the mirth increasing at the scandalized look on the CMO.

"Now that we are done, and if you are done laughing at a serious matter, let's get on with why I summoned you in the first place." Ratchet growls, disconnecting from the port and flipping the latch on the blue seeker's neck closed.

"I must admit I am curious." Thundercracker states, the laughter slowly dying down and he rises from the berth stretching his wings and enjoying that the feeling plaguing his right wing ever since the night before is gone.

"Getting old Thundercracker? Or did you forget that I have been elbow deep in a certain black and purple seeker's internals while you played around with Starscream? For your information, your sonic boom very nearly killed Skywarp. I guess he was the one closest to you, maybe shielding Starscream a bit with his frame, why Starscream didn't suffer as many damages at the teleporter." Ratchet growls, almost sounding accusing.

"I… He… WHAT?!" the seeker blurts, blue optics obscenely wide and the sight would have been comical to the CMO if not for the seriousness. At least the medic knows when to be serious and when to joke around.

"You damaged his fuel pump so much that it actually failed upon me a few times after you brought him in. It is pure damned luck he is still alive." The CMO explains with a deep frown.

"He is…okay then?" Thundercracker asks in a small wavering voice, his deep rumbling preventing him from sounding too pitiful, but the slumped almost cowering stance when Ratchet explains is satisfaction enough to the medic.

"He isn't out of the critical part yet, but if he survives until tomorrow then I have faith." The medic explains, walking to the door into the ICU housing the stasis-locked recovering seeker.

Walking up behind the medic and looking in through the small window in the door, blue optics takes in the jumble of monitors, wires and drops connected to the prone battered black and purple frame. The sight of the open chestplates and visible sparkchamber with the myriads of wires sticking out feels like a punch to his midsection, and he can feel his legs sag slightly.

"Can I?" he asks the medic, optics still trained on the monitors showing that yes Skywarp is still alive, but the data shown is of a weak frame and a spark fighting to keep everything functioning.

"If you promise to not touch anything in there. I'm sure I don't have to lecture you about what would happen if you do." The medic answers grimly.

"I…will be careful." Thundercracker murmurs before he keys the door open and slowly steps into the room. It is cold, the countless sounds of machines filling his audios and the small blips now and then is a somehow reassuring sound. It is the reassurance of life in the lifeless frame in the center of it all.

Inside the ICU room, he is unsure about what to do since there is no chair or anything to accommodate him; the machines are taking up so much of the room that the comfort of a chair is impossible. Instead he just stands beside the berth and looks as the respirator forces air down the seeker's intake to cool the frame from within. His hands itch to touch, to take the lax hands resting at each side of the prone frame, but Ratchet's words stands stark in his processor. Don't touch ANYTHING. So he just stands there and does nothing, drowning in an all-consuming guilt.

This…shouldn't have happened.


	9. Angst, hurt and comfort

Empty optics stares into nothingness even as they are focused on the black and purple frame on the berth right in front of him.

How could he…

He is the protector, the one to shield others from harm, not cause it.

Ever since he came to this future all his instincts has been screaming at him. Even if the Autobots are fighting for peace and the right to freedom for all, he has been torn. He is a warrior, maybe the only true one among the ranks on both sides. Following honor codes and rules created during a war happening so very, very long ago. If anyone had told him that there would come a time where cybertronian would turn against cybertronian, he wouldn't have believed it, but he is living it now.

And they are so few.

If…

If Quintessa decides to attack…

He shudders at the thought of being forced into servitude again. To be used as… NO! He doesn't want to think about it.

The only knowledge easing his spark is the fact that there are others out there if Ratchet is right. And he can only hope they still remain free and haven't been captured by their ancient enemy.

There is safety in numbers.

That was one of the reasons for why they couldn't stay in their old frames. The old way of reproduction took time, almost a vorn before the new creation would emerge from its carrier, and when that happened the real work began. Each creation was as mindless as they all had been before sentience slowly worked its way into the processor. And even if the process of developing sentience had been encouraged directly, it still took time before they had a sentient independent transformer.

It was time and energy consuming.

And their enemies still lurked out there, vanquished from Cybertron, but still a very palpable threat even as reduced and weakened as they had become now that their leadership had been decimated to nothing.

The breakthrough came when a scouting team, sent deep down below the surface of the planet returned with tales of marvelous wonders. They had found a chamber, impossibly large, the ceiling held up by hundreds of pillars, lit up from a power source in its center and thrumming with power.

And it had spoken.

Vector Sigma was like a gift from a deity they yet had to worship.

Sunstorm, an impossibly yellow-golden serkhar had been on the team, and he never really regained sanity after his meeting with the super computer in the center of the planet.

The thinkers had come together, had ventured to the chamber and had talked to this being. When they returned, determination and eagerness if not outright giddiness had been in their fields and they took the first the best building and locked themselves inside for almost two weeks, only coming out to refuel.

During those two weeks new frame types were developed, designed to suite the ground bound or serkhar.

In the time following, they repurposed the old quintessonian technology and began producing the frames, then brought them to Vector Sigma, who as promised granted the empty shells sparks and instant sentience. The newsparked creations would grow into adults with time and still needed to learn basic knowledge, but at least they didn't have to go through the consuming process of developing sentience anymore.

As population grew and a society formed and flourished, with several city-states being formed, the ancient transformers became aware of their distancing to the society they had created. They stood out, were more or less worshipped as deities because of their history, and because of that became more and more isolated.

The only solution had been for them to vanish from sight, blend in among everyone else and be forgotten.

Rachïar had performed the transfers secretly in his medical bay in Iacon. One after one the old war heroes disappeared as they took new names with their new frames.

The only one remaining became the sole focus of all the attention. Isolating himself behind the protective walls of his city-state, protected by his Winglord, he found his call in life while still watching over the peaceful post-war society. Slowly re-socializing he found his one true call in educating the new generations of seekers.

Seekers just like Skywarp. Just like Starscream. Just like countless others.

Young seekers he had vowed to protect the instant he decided to take up the mantle of teaching.

A vow he has broken. The evidence is right in front of him, frame battered and broken because of Thundercracker.

His spark contracts painfully in its chamber, a lone tear trails down his cheek unnoticed. His optics are distant, unseeing but yet seeing. Memories flow through his processor. Starscream dissatisfied with the answers, arguing with him. Skywarp, optics bright with mischief and Thundercracker knows to be wary. Skywarp and Starscream in flight together, the pair like made for each other. Every other seeker he has ever teached is just bleak contours in his memories compared to the pair.

Then a smell works its way into his awareness and it triggers some repressed memories and he forces himself out of his trance-like state to the here and now, something in the back of his processor screaming for his attention.

The scent of energon lingers faintly in the air, sweet and delicate.

It is the scent of pure and filtrated energon, not the kind you consume to refuel, but the kind running in a mech's lines.

The fact alarms him even more, long before the monitor keeping track of Skywarps systems indicates something to be wrong. As he stares down at the black and purple seeker a single thin trail of energon begins the make its way out from under the prone frame, moving towards the edge of the berth. The flow is slow, almost sluggish, but increases exponentially. When it reaches the edge, it hesitates for a second, almost as if examining it, before it spills over the edge and flows down the side of the berth. Reaching the underside of the berth it gathers to a large drop before it releases its grip on the surface and drips onto the floor.

Three more drops follows the first before Thundercracker manages to break free of the entrancing sight. Looking up from the floor his wings rises in panic at the sight of the energon welling up from inside Skywarp, the open chestplates giving him a clear indication of the situations severity.

Something has gone wrong, and Skywarp is bleeding out.

It is first then that the monitor begins to blare in a shrill alarm, the pressure in the energon line leading away from the fuel pump falling below the threshold and activating the alert.

"RATCHET!" the blue seeker roars, as if he doesn't believe the shrill sound of the alarm to rouse the medic from whatever the CMO is doing. His fingers are moving reflexively at his sides, he need to do something, anything, but he isn't a medic and he don't know what to do.

A swoosh of the door and Ratchet is at the berth instantly.

"What did you do?!" the medic furiously demands, laser scalpel already in his hand and slicing into the seeker's front plating to lay the fuel pump bare.

"Nothing. I promise you Ratchet. I just suddenly smelled the energon." Thundercracker explains in a voice showing his panic. His optics widens when the cut into the plating causes more energon to spill from inside the black and purple seeker, soaking the berth in a nightmarish sight of vital fluids.

"Frag! It's a weld tear!" The CMO curses, "Firstaid, medical bay NOW!" he then roars on the open com line ignoring the fact that he alerts everyone in the whole base to the emergency.

When the cause of the emergency is laid bare, Thundercracker almost feels like purging. There is a tear the length of his little finger in the large energon line, located almost at its connection to the fuel pump. He can see where Ratchet has patched the wound with several layers of welds as well as clamps to help ease the healing. The pressure in the line this close to the fuel pump is simply too great for the welds to hold and has slowly worn away on the wielding until the patch broke.

"You. OUT!" Ratchet commands the blue seeker when the door opens to accommodate Firstaid.

When Thundercracker just keeps standing there, looking, completely paralyzed, Ratchet looks up, optics narrowed. "If you want him to survive Thundercracker, I would suggest you leave now!" the CMO growls dangerously.

At the tone Thundercracker flinches out of his state and still perplex he stumbles towards the door, passing Firstaid who gently pats him on the shoulder as the medic moves to take the blue seeker's spot at the side of the berth and instantly begins to assist Ratchet.

"If this keeps happening we will need to perform a transplant-…" is the last Thundercracker hear Ratchet voice to Firstaid before the door closes and locks him out.

The words send a chill down his backstrut.

After spark and processor surgery, a fuel pump transplant is one of the most dangerous medical procedures. The fuel pump is such an essential part, that the frame technically is dead during the procedure. The spark is kept stable on the support of several machines mimicking the function of a fuel pump, while the rest of the frame already begins the deteriorating when the pump is disconnected. The longer the procedure takes, the greater is the risk that the mech isn't going to wake up due to severe damages in the processor. If any mistake happens it is almost always fatal.

And Ratchet's comment makes it crystal clear that this isn't the first time the weld tear has happened.

Supporting himself shakily against a berth, Thundercracker stares at the closed door. He can faintly hear Ratchet's voice through it, and can imagine how the medic is cursing vividly as he fights against the major energon loss in the seeker.

Once again his awareness drifts, seeking refuge in the safety of his processor. He is unaware of the time passing, or the world outside himself. He doesn't hear when the door to the medical bay gently swooshes open, or the thrusters walking in. He doesn't even feel the fields sidling against his own as the mechs stops just behind him, not obscuring the door and the battle being fought behind it.

"Thundercracker, Sir?" The voice is soft as Silverbolt tries to draw the blue seeker's attention to him and Air Raid.

A small tremble in the blue wings is the only response, but it is a response and both Aerialbots patiently waits for the Air Commander to come out of his state.

"Are you okay, Sir?" Air Raid asks when the tremble in the wings increases, almost turning into violent shakes. He can feel Silverbolt's deadpan comment through their bond at his question. Does the seeker look like he is okay when shaking like that?

"Do you need us to help you back to your quarters, Sir?" Silverbolt asks gently, resting one of his hands lightly on a blue shoulder to not startle the blue seeker at the touch.

He doesn't expect Thundercracker to collapse to the floor, or the distorted field flashing against his own, filling him with so much raw emotion.

"St-Starscream…" Thundercracker utters in a voice so pained. 'He is never going to forgive me this if Skywarp dies.'

"He shouldn't see you like this. You shouldn't be with him when you are this distressed. We can take you back to our quarters until you are more stable." The Aerialbot offers, but his voice for once holds an authority daring the Air Commander to protest against. And Silverbolt knows, or hopes, that Thundercracker is reasonable enough to see logic in not showing the decepticon seeker such vulnerability. It would just be asking the decepticon to take advantage.

Ignoring the small protest from the blue seeker as he and Air Raid steps in front of the berth and gently supports the deeply emotionally distraught seeker to his thrusters, he leads them out the med bay door and towards their quarters.

"It is going to be okay, Sir. Don't worry. Have faith in Ratchet." Silverbolt murmurs encouragingly, hoping to ease some of the distress in their commanding officer. They have never before seen him like this. Always has he been the calm, stoic and at times stern instructor, who have helped them improve so much in the air during his time with them.

Soon Thundercracker is the center of a mesh of reassuring, comforting fields, while warm thrumming frames either embraces him or cuddles in close to his own. Through walloping guilt and spark breaking fear and sorrow he manages to feel slightly exasperated, but soon has to give in to the honest comfort he is given and enters a dreamless recharge.


	10. Deep worry and anger management

Clank. Clank. Clank.

The sound of footsteps sounds monotonously inside the Autobot Air Commander's quarters.

Starscream is slowly going insane as the hours tick by without anything from Thundercracker. The first few hours didn't cause him any worry, but now it is more than ten hours since the blue seeker left and Starscream is pacing furiously on his fourth hour. There isn't much else to do in Thundercracker's office. The datapads on the shelf held interest for an hour, but since then he has been growing more and more restless and worried.

He tried the door after the fifth hour. Finding it locked and heavily encrypted with a complex and foreign code language he is firmly locked into the blue seeker's quarters until Thundercracker returns. So it is obvious that even if he isn't in the brig he is still very much a prisoner. Not that he would have thought the autobots to just let him roam free. Just... The night before still stands vividly in his mind and this very morning even more so. He can still feel Thundercracker's fingers ghost over his plating. He is still suffering from the unreleased energies accumulated in the intimate moments just before the blue seeker had to leave and in the hope of Thundercracker's return he has ignored them. Hoping to resume what they have begun and getting closer to the blue seeker in a way he has wanted to for a very long time.

But his hope is for naught.

With a deep sigh he resumes pacing.

And even if he knew Thundercracker's comlink frequency his comline is disabled. He knows this because he, in a hopeful moment, tried to reach the old comlink frequency from the Academy time. But all he got was silence. The sign of a disabled comline.

Rounding Thundercracker's desk for the 1.638. time he stops to look at the door and the communications system taking up the spot on the wall to its right.

Should or shouldn't?

Shaking his head to clear it of the foolish thought that any of the autobots would give him any answers or even relay a message to Thundercracker, he resumes his pacing again, but his optics strays to the door each time he rounds the desk.

1.995.

1.996.

1.997.

1.998.

1.999.

At the 2.000 round he stops, his processor racing furiously and warring with pessimism and the need to know.

It can't hurt to try, right?

Still fighting with indecision, he stares at the communication system for a few more minutes. When he finally makes his decision, his spark is pulsing so fast it feels like it is trying to burst out of his chest.

Standing in front of it, hesitation grips him again and his finger hovers over the button labeled 'Command center'. Much to his chagrin there isn't a direct call to the medical bay or Ratchet.

Should or shouldn't?

With a deep sigh and the feel of his sparkchamber ready to crack under the pressure of his spark he pushes the button and breathlessly waits for answer as the line indicates the call going through to the communications hub located in the command center.

All the while thoughts races through his processor, telling him how foolish this is, but he NEED to know what is going on.

* * *

In the command center Ironhide looks up from a datapad and turns to the communications hub when the sound of an attempted communication alerts him. With a few keystrokes he taps into the logs to identify the caller and his expression darkens. Without any care he closes the logs and turns back to his datapad, ignoring the continuous sound. A few minutes later it silences and he smiles cruelly.

Not much later he is disturbed again by a smooth 'swoosh' as the door into the Command center opens to allow entrance and once again he turns away from his datapad, this time to regard the one entering.

"Ah, Mirage. What can I do for you?" Ironhide greets before turning back to face the console in front of him and the rows of surveillance monitors.

Mirage just nods in greeting as he enters with a cube in each hand.

"Time to refuel." He replies smoothly, walking up beside the weapons specialist and handing him one of the cubes.

"Since when did you become delivery mech?" Ironhide asks, knowing that Mirage shouldn't be the one to deliver his energon. That had been a part of Firstaid's duty this day.

"Don't tell me you didn't hear Ratchet's bellow hours ago? From what I hear they are still working furiously in the medical bay. So someone had to take over this duty." The spy answers coolly.

"It is impossible not to hear him." Ironhide snorts. Then he scowls darkly at the thought of why Ratchet and Firstaid is caught up in the medical bay. To him it is a waste of time and resource on an enemy who is going to shoot them in their sparks as a 'thank you' if the decepticon gets the chance. But there is no arguing with Ratchet when the CMO is dead-set.

"Any disturbances?" Mirage asks, icy blue optics sweeping the room as he relaxes against the wall beside the door.

"No more than the usual." Ironhide easily deflects the question.

"Hmm. What is that?" he asks the weapons specialist, optics narrowed in suspicion as he gestures towards the lone blinking diode on the communications hub indicating a missed communication. Before Ironhide manages to answer him, Mirage has walked to the console and is tapping into it. When the log shows the missed call from Air Commander Thundercracker's office Mirage turns to look at Ironhide, arms folding across his chest and his optics becoming even icier as he with a raised brow silently demands an explanation.

Not that he really need one. They all know how Ironhide feels about the seekers, Thundercracker being no exception, even if the seeker has proved himself in battle alongside the weapons specialist several times.

When Ironhide just remains silent, his expression dark and showing his prejudice, Mirage just sighs and logs the call as noted before leaving the command center.

At the door he turns to regard the other.

"If I were you I wouldn't turn Thundercracker into my enemy." He states, and then he turns and walks down the corridor towards the location of Thundercracker's office. If it had been Thundercracker trying to contact them he would have done so over comline. That leaves Starscream as the one trying to communicate.

"Mirage to Thundercracker."

Nothing.

"Mirage to Air Commander Thundercracker."

Still nothing.

With a sigh he steels himself for the next attempt.

"Mirage to Chief Medical Officer Ratchet."

"This better be good! I am busy! What do you want?!" Ratchet promptly responds, his voice holding a dangerous threat.

"I need Thundercracker's whereabouts. He isn't responding to me. And he isn't in his quarters." Mirage calmly explains, showing a slight urgency.

"He is with the Aerialbots. Mech knows he needed someone to pull him together." The medic grouses. "Unless the Decepticons is attacking no one is to disturb them. Am I clear?!" the CMO then adds with a growl before cutting the connection abruptly.

Stopping in his walk, Mirage contemplates his possibilities.

Either leave the issue be, or go and see for himself what Starscream wanted, and by doing so trespassing on Thundercracker's privacy and put himself in vicinity of the decepticon.

Just when he is about to turn around and walk away, leaving the issue for Thundercracker to deal with whenever the seeker is fit to it, he hears a furious scream and a following mad pounding on a door. More precisely Thundercracker's door.

With a deep sigh he turns around again. If Starscream isn't scrapping him he knows that Thundercracker will. The image of the scene from the Nemesis halts him for a moment, and he is almost about to turn away from the door again, but then another image presents itself. The way the blue seeker had cradled Starscream as they had left the enemy base. There had been affection there.

Feeling a rare conflicting moment, Mirage is unable to decide what might get him scrapped the most. Trespass, or ignore Starscream when he clearly needs something.

"THUNDERCRACKER!" the scream coming from the other side of the door drags out for a while, almost turning into a wail, and when it fades a soundly sobbing takes over.

Deeply shocked Mirage just stares at the door for a moment. A. Crying. Decepticon. That's a first. And it is the deciding matter.

"Primus save me." he whispers before he steps up to the door and begins the work to decrypt the code on it. It takes a while due to the uncommon use of ancient cybertronian in the code language, but being a tower's mech Mirage is educated enough to know the basic of the old language. Most of the famous sparkling tales from that time were in the old language.

"Thundercracker…" Starscream asks in a small voice at the sound of a code being entered on the other side of the door, and Mirage feels a lump in his throat at the hopefulness in it. Idly he wonders what the decepticon will do when he realizes that Mirage isn't Thundercracker.

The last blip sounds and the door pings with a verification of the code before it begins to swoosh open.

"Thund-"is all Starscream manages to say before he realizes that the frame on the other side of the opening door is too small to be Thundercracker. With wide optics he scrambles away from the door, his frame connecting with the desk as Mirage enters, the thought of escape not even entering his processor at the sight of the mech who isn't Thundercracker.

When the door closes behind Mirage, Starscream whimpers. He is unarmed, trapped and at the complete mercy of the autobot.

"I'm not here to hurt you." Mirage begins to explain in a soft voice, uncomfortable with the sight of the still flowing tears from the decepticon's optics. When all he gets is another whimper and trembling wings he almost regrets entering. But done is done, and whispering another prayer he continues to try and sooth the distressed seeker.

"I know you tried to contact us. That's the only reason why I'm here Starscream. Thundercracker is…indisposed at the moment and unable to return to you for a while. Are you okay? Do you understand?" the spy elaborates, watching the seeker closely.

"In-indisposed? What happened to him?" the seeker sniffs, the crying slowly slowing down and he raises a hand to wipe at his optics and cheeks to remove the fluids staining them.

"I don't know." Mirage answers honestly, and in his mind he adds 'I don't know how much I can tell you. I don't know if Thundercracker has told you anything about Skywarp being here at all.' Out loud he adds further, "He is with the Aerialbots at the moment, and according to Ratchet is to remain undisturbed until he comes around. So he probably won't be returning to his quarters before tomorrow. I am sorry Starscream; you will have to remain alone in here until then. Or I can take you down to the brig if you prefer? Then you won't be this alone and isolated." Mirage hurries to explain, seeing the deeply hurt expression on the seeker's face and the tears welling from the optics with renewed force, but not understanding the cause of it.

"He-… He's with them?" the seeker asks in an almost inaudible voice, the bitterness going completely unnoticed by the autobot.

"That's what Ratchet told me." Mirage nods.

Like flicking a switch Starscream's demeanor changes and Mirage only sees a fraction of it before the seeker turns his back and hides the anguished anger filling his optics.

'Those…Those… They are dead!'

"I…I need to be alone." The seeker states in a controlled voice, showing none of the feelings tearing him apart from the inside.

"Okay. I can leave my comlink frequency at the communication system for you to use if you need anything." The autobot offers, brow ridge raised at the sudden dismissal.

"Th-thank you." The words are forced, the control almost cracking, almost showing the seeker's true state. His wings are held completely taut, not moving at all. If Mirage had been a flier he would never have left in that moment, but he is a ground bound and can't read the seeker's frame language.

When the door locks with a click Starscream waits for several long seconds before the rage filled shriek of madness escapes his vocalizer. In his hate induced state he rips the room to shreds, the only thing remaining somewhat undamaged being the desk, and only because it is too heavy for him to lift.


	11. Memories and unintended revelations

" _So we are at an agreement?"_

Thundercracker looks around as an old memory gently worm its way into his dreamless recharge.

_The magnificence of the throne room in the center of the Winglord's palace surrounds him as he is flanked by Alpha Trion and Rachïar._

_He vividly remembers this day. It is the day where he is cut off from his previous responsibility to protect the others and needs to learn to become a regular citizen. The day where he no longer will have anyone to protect as the procedures to transfer the ancient cybertronians into their new frames are to commence when the last small obstacle and formality has been done. An obstacle named Thundercracker and a formality securing his safety in the time to come._

_The Winglord is one of the few to know what is going to happen. He is after all one of them. Standing in front of the throne, level with the three ancients he doesn't look much different from Thundercracker. His frame is following the ancient design due to the fact that the Winglords are birthed the ancient way, but modified to modern standards. It is the way of the Serkhars, a way that has been passed on ever since the ending of the Quintesson War. It is the way for them to keep their legacy alive. And no one outside the Winglords closest inner circle and the ancients know this fact._

_With a nod to Alpha Trion, Sunstar steps closer to Thundercracker and embraces his grand, grand, grand, grand, grand creator affectionately. The embrace is awkward with the blue seeker not reciprocating. Instead Thundercracker goes rigid, stiffening and his wings flare in surprise and discomfort._

" _Yes, we are at an agreement." The Winglord confirms vocally as he breaks the embrace and steps back to give Thundercracker the space the serkhar clearly need. "He will remain behind Vos' protective walls, protected by his Winglord, having the same security level as myself." He adds to the two ground bound before turning to look at the serkhar again._

" _I know the purpose is for you to become a regular citizen, and I have granted you your wish to become an instructor at the Academy. But I would be honored if you would accept the rank of General in our military. It will only matter if we ever should find ourselves in a war again. The offer is all up to you Thundercracker. No one is going to pressure you. Think of it as a chance for you to teach the higher ranking as well as myself tactics and knowledge." Sunstar humbly lowers his wings as he speaks and finishes his little speech with a deep bow._

" _Solarstorm is better at tactics than I am." Thundercracker adds evenly, his discomfort growing as well as the need to have his trine there with him, to support him. Solarstorm is so much better at this than him, even Novastar is more socialized. His discomfort is clear in the way his optics looks at everything but the red and white seeker in front of him. If anyone else had done such a thing they would have been restrained and thrown in a nice little cell. But Thundercracker isn't just anyone, and Sunstar understands that better than anyone else outside the ancients closed inner circle._

_Sunstar's response is cut off by an exasperated sigh from Rachïar and seeker and serkhar turns to look at the medic who wears a clear scowl on his face. Unfazed, the medic meets their stare with one of his own and as the staring contest drags out he sighs once more before he crosses his arms across his chest in defiance._

" _Don't look at me like that!" he growls while he waves dismissively at their continued stare._

_When even that doesn't have an effect, and Sunstar meets his narrowed optics, the medic sighs for the third time and uncrosses his arms again as he begins to explain. Sometimes he just forgets that not everyone knows everything, and while Sunstar is related to Thundercracker far out he isn't familiar with the blue seeker at all._

_Thundercracker might have contributed to his creation by donating coding to create the first Winglord. He might have been chosen by the first leader of the serkhars to carry on their legacy. But in the earliest post-war time he had other more important duties than to care for the bloodline he had been chosen to create. The Quintessons still haunted Cybertron's airspace and the serkhars were busy fending them off until they got the message and left the planet and the former slaves alone._

" _You aren't alone in this Thundercracker. I know Solarstorm is a better tactician, and I am sure Sunstar is going to give him an appropriate position among his ranks to use his abilities for the good of everyone. But don't forget that you are eons old than him. There are only few of us who are still alive that predates your creation. Don't underestimate your own worth. We might not need your protection anymore, but that processor of yours and the knowledge and memories stored in its databanks are just as important. When I'm done with our transfers into the new frames, you will be the only one left with a complete and uncorrupt knowledge of our past. Our new processors can't handle or even store all that data. Think of yourself as the protector of our past." Rachïar points out in a deadly serious tone, obviously hoping to give the serkhar a clear purpose to help him deal with the changes to come._

" _I will have Solarstorm assigned my tactical advisor, while Novastar will be assigned to the medical wing connected to the Academy. Of course only if he wants to, but I think it would be wise to have someone you trust that close." The Winglord interject smoothly with a sincere smile._

The next moment the memory changes radically, and Thundercracker knows that this isn't his own memory.

_Vos is a burning inferno._

_All around him the sound of explosions and structures falling fills the air and his spark fills with glee._

_In the distance the Winglord palace stands vividly._

_As he allows himself to fall from the burning structure he is standing on just before it completely crumbles beneath him, he smoothly transforms into his tricolored tetrajet and streaks into the blazing sky. At his flanks he feels his trinemates follow him just as smoothly. Skywarp is filled with a glee rivaling his own, while Thundercracker remains stoic and unfeeling._

_It doesn't take long before they are at the impressive entrance into the palace._

" _Where is he hiding Thundercracker?" he asks his blue trinemate, looking expectant to his right._

In deep shock Thundercracker watches as his reprogrammed self leads Starscream and Skywarp to the Winglords location in the lower levels of the palace, following one of the countless escape routes in the large building, and he wakes from his recharge just as Sunstar deactivates at the hands of the tricolored seeker.

Blue optics onlines slowly and he just stares into the darkness of the room.

He feels completely numb as the memory is replayed again and again in his processor.

Sunstar is dead.

Just like Solarstorm.

Just like Novastar.

How many others haven't survived this war?

And how many of those has he himself killed?

Once again he clings to a weak hope that most of them left Cybertron before the war broke out completely.

And it raises questions he needs to ask Starscream.

And Skywarp if the seeker survives.

With a deep sigh he untangles himself from the five frames surrounding him. He feels a lot better, even if this new knowledge is distressing, but at least he can do something with it. Silently leaving the room, he stalks the corridors as his processor fills with thoughts and feelings.

Why did Starscream merge with him? The seeker must have known that he risked sharing his own memories when participating in a merge going as deep as it had.

Did the seeker really trust him this much?

Does he regret his actions?

Or did he simply not know that the merge would grant Thundercracker an insight in Starscream's own memories without the seeker monitoring which ones to share?

Restless Thundercracker walks to the base entrance and just stares out into the dark night sky with the countless stars visible.

"Solarstorm. Novastar. Sunstar. What do I do?" he whispers out into the nothingness as his spark throbs painfully.

For the first time since the loss of his trine, he longs to have someone to rely on again. Someone to support him. In his spark he had hoped that Starscream and Skywarp with time could have become that one, but now…?

How he misses Solarstorms advice and Novastars care whenever he finds himself in a complicated situation.

With a deep sigh he transforms and flies into the darkness of the night to think and hopefully make a decision about what to do.


	12. What friends are for

Ratchet stares satisfied at the black and purple frame on the berth in front of him. His hands and arms are drenched in drying energon and other fluids, but he ignores his dirtied state in the face of yet another medical victory.

Skywarp has survived his fifth close encounter with death.

Now is only to hope that the new weld is going to hold. If it doesn't they have no other choice but to try a transplant and pray for a success. At least they have the components in stock. It is one of the parts they have in abundance. It is a rare component to replace since either the mech is already dead when arriving at the medical bay with failures in the system or component, or is dying, suffering damages not instantly killing, but fatal enough that they are unable to salvage the mech through a transplant anyway.

Skywarp is one of the rare cases where they have been able to do something, where they have had the time to deal with the damages and prolong the seeker's survival. The fact that the reoccurring issue with the fuel pump isn't directly related to the component is a major factor in the black and purple seeker's continued survival. But it is annoying enough that the welds on the energon line are unable to hold.

With a sigh he looks from the prone frame to the energon drip slowly replenishing the drained frame. At the moment there is more energon outside Skywarps frame than inside it and the process of replacing the lost energon needs to go slowly to not strain the newly done welds as well as the fatigued systems.

"Call me if anything happens and you need my help." Firstaid's tired voice filters into the CMO's awareness and with faded optics Ratchet turns to look at his assistant medic.

"I will. Go and get some recharge." He replies with a tired smile; it is one of the rare gestures showing his satisfaction with his co-medic. Firstaid did well in assisting him in the emergency and Ratchet knows that Skywarp wouldn't have survived without the assistance of the both of them.

When Firstaid leaves the ICU room Ratchet turns to prepare the next few drops so he will just have to change them whenever the alarm alerts him to an empty drop. Then with energy-fatigued systems he staggers towards his office and the very tempting field berth located there. He needs his own recharge if he is going to be worth anything in the morning.

In fact he is in such a need for recharge that he doesn't even register when the door to the medical bay hours later opens with its usual small ping to his systems. Instead the medic recharges peacefully through even the heavy sound of dragging thrusters on the floor as a distinct frame walks across the room towards the door into the office.

"Ratchet…?" Thundercracker calls gently into the silence, having returned from his flight. He is weary about returning to his own quarters, and don't really want to return to the Aerialbots. He is still very much troubled and the flight did only little to sort his processor, which is why he is here, in the medical bay, to seek out advice from the only confident who knows him and his past, who might know the answers to the questions filling his mind and who truly cares for him.

The gentle swoosh of the door to the office sounds as Thundercracker keys it to open and when he looks into the dim darkness beyond he smiles caringly at the sight of his old friend resting in sound recharge. He feels bad about having to wake Ratchet, but he needs someone to talk to and the matter is something he finds hard to wait until the morning to address.

With the smile still on his lips, he silently walks into the room and kneels beside the berth. It is rare to see Ratchet like this, curled into a ball, one hand beneath his head as a pillow, the other held against his chest as if to protect himself in his recharge. Gone is the usual fearsome frown, instead the medic's features are untroubled and calm, the lips moving slightly now and then.

"Ratchet…" Thundercracker breathes into the medic's audio, hoping to rouse his friend as calmly as possible and not scare him too much in the process.

Unfortunately he just happens to do it at the exact same moment as a small continuous pinging sound begins in the distance and not a second later Ratchet's optics onlines and stares directly into Thundercracker's, only a few centimeters separating their faces.

The frown is back as blue optics adjusts to the darkness and then Ratchet sits up with a shock when his processor catches up with the fact that there is another mech staring at him up close, invading his private space.

"Oh my Primus, Thundercracker! You almost gave me a spark attack!" Ratchet breathes, holding a hand to his chest to try and calm down his wildly pulsing spark.

"I'm sorry about that Ratchet, but I need to talk to you." Thundercracker murmurs apologetically, his wings drooping low on his back.

"It is okay. I just need to do something, and then we can talk as long as you need." Ratchet reassures in a calm voice so far from his usual grouchiness. Thundercracker dutifully sits down on the berth as the medic rises to address the alert informing him that he need to change Skywarps energon drop.

Moments later he is back inside the office. Adjusting the light to a bearable intensity he sits down beside Thundercracker. The energon cube he offers the other as he sits down is ignored and the trembling and twitching wings are all indication he need to know that something serious is troubling the serkhar. With a sigh, Ratchet settles in a relaxed pose beside Thundercracker, giving the other time to sort his thoughts and tell him what is so wrong that he needed to wake the medic in the middle of the night.

When the silence just stretches on between them and Thundercracker keeps staring fixatedly on the floor beneath the berth, Ratchet gently places a hand on a blue thigh and caresses the plating in a calm and reassuring movement. They have the whole night to talk and he knows it won't work to push at the matter.

But when the gesture likewise is ignored Ratchet grows more and more concerned. Gently, belying his worry for the other, he reaches a hand to lift Thundercracker's head beneath the jawline, forcing the serkhar to look at him.

"Tell me what is troubling you?" he asks, almost pleads.

It is slowly killing him to see the ancient protector this vulnerable and affected. He can still remember the fierceness with which Thundercracker refused to give in and give up during the first hardships they encountered long before the Quintesson war became a war. He is the one that kept them together when everything seemed to fall apart around them.

He still vividly remembers Thundercracker's flinty optics staring defiantly into the faces of their former masters before he attacks, giving the rest of them time to escape yet another capture. He remembers the roars of pain when damages needed to be repaired without any form of anesthetics. And all this suffering is because of them, for them. Because Thundercracker cares so deeply about them all that he is willing to give his own life to make sure they survive and carry on. It is a marvel for all of them to watch the transformation happening in the serkhar, in their protector. And with each cycle he suffers their numbers grow.

Shaking himself out of the many memories that are trying to resurface, Ratchet refocuses on Thundercracker's pale blue optics. The pain and sorrow so evident in them almost causes Ratchet to shed a tear. Ingrained instincts created so very long ago screams inside him about how wrong this is. If Thundercracker is this vulnerable they are going to die! 'Do something. Do something!'

He is so caught up by his own internal distress that it takes a moment for him to realize that Thundercracker finally is speaking.

"Why didn't he leave together with the others you told me left Cybertron?" Thundercracker asks, his voice filled with the same pain and sorrow that is visible in his optics.

"Who?" Ratchet stalls for a moment, slowly regaining his composure. He can't allow himself to fall apart. He is stronger than this. Fraggit, he is the autobot medic from the Pit, he can damn well keep himself together until Thundercracker doesn't need his comfort anymore!

"Sunstar." The name is barely a croak and Thundercracker wrestles his head free of the gently touch to his jaw and returns to stare down at the floor.

"How do you know?" Ratchet asks, knowing very well that no one among the autobots or decepticons should know about the connection between the deceased Winglord and Thundercracker. And if they knew he can't imagine anyone among the autobots who would want to hurt Thundercracker like this. He knows that Prime avoided specifying this particular knowledge on Ratchet's own request, and even if Optimus had looked puzzled at the request, he had accepted it and followed it. So who?

There is once again a stretch of silence and just when Ratchet is convinced that Thundercracker isn't going to elaborate further, the serkhar looks up with, if possible, optics conveying even more pain than moments before.

"I saw him in a memory influx during my recharge, in a memory belonging to Starscream. I can only assume that my merge with him went so deep that it caused an unintentional transfer of memories between us, and that it has lingered in my sub processor until it surfaced in relation to one of my own memories of Sunstar." Thundercracker explains in a voice this time completely flat and devoid of any feelings. Then he looks away again, fleeing the deep care and concern visible in Ratchet's optics. He had been there, been the one to lead Starscream to Sunstar. He is as much a murderer as Starscream in this, and he can't handle Ratchets worry and care at the moment. He feels like purging, not only because of the memory, but of the fact that he has been enraptured by Starscream without knowing what the seeker has done. How can he ever look at Starscream and feel anything but spark deep pain?

"This is why I didn't like that you merged with him instead of the Aerialbots." Ratchet sighs, "One thing is to hear Prime explain what has transpired during the war, another is to experience it, especially second handedly through another's memory. You can't change the past, and that is what the memory is, no matter how real it feels in the moment you witnesses it. This is also why I preferred that you only merged with the Aerialbots. The merge can't go so deep that you unintentionally become a witness to unexpected memories and they are so young that they only have memories from our time here on Earth, sparing you the truth about the first vorns of the war where city-states either aligned with the decepticons or got wiped out. I wanted to spare you that pain." Ratchet explains in a soft voice.

"There have been so many pointless deaths in this war. I can't understand how you all can seem so unaffected by how few of us are left." Thundercracker sighs, "I don't know what to do Ratchet. I feel so lost. I miss my trine and the reassurance and comfort they provided. I know the regular merge keeps me from fading, but there is still a hole in my spark where Solarstorm used to be and my coding is frayed due to the broken trinebond. I don't know for how much longer I can remain sane. I had hoped that Starscream and Skywarp could have filled the emptiness within me, but now? I don't know. I need your advice in this Ratchet. While I trained them during their time at the Academy, you have seen them develop through the war. Starscream seem more like the seeker I remember than the seeker I experienced in the memory, but I don't feel like I know him anymore after witnessing what he did." Now that the words are out, Thundercracker already feels so much better. He can feel how his spark already feels lighter and the feelings aren't running rampart inside him, he is slowly regaining control and common sense. Turning his head to face Ratchet again he silently waits for what advice the medic has to give, a small hope blooming in his spark that Ratchet might have a way for him to regain his trust in Starscream.


	13. The advice and hard truths

" _While I would love to tell you to stay far away from Starscream and Skywarp, I won't do that. There is no longer anyone who is innocent in this war and I can't with good faith condemn them for the crimes they have committed when the autobots likewise has done some atrocious actions. It is true that the decepticons started the war and committed the first of many atrocities on Cybertron, but the autobots have just as many deaths on their hands. The Golden Age was slowly coming to an end. Our society were running out of hand, mechs were starving and slowly dying while none among the Senate or Council listened to the common mech. The only one that did was Megatron and he managed to sway them to his banner of rebellion. It was a peaceful rebellion at first, but when the Council and Senate still didn't listen, and people continued to die in the streets, they turned to violence. That got them heard and while Megatron started the war with a violent rebellion, the Council and Senate retaliated with large scale attacks on the locations the rebellion was rumored to have their bases, completely ignoring the fact that innocent mechs were killed in the attacks. Back then Megatron was idealistic and inspiring, fighting for the common mech, but over time he changed. I guess all the slaughter got to his head and now it is all he knows. He hates everything associated with autobots; it has turned into a complete obsession. As long as Prime and Megatron remains alive the war will carry on until we have wiped ourselves out." Ratchet tells him with a deep sigh and a shake of his head._

" _I can only give you the advice to go and talk to Starscream. Get him to tell you why he did what he did; he might have had a good reason. All I know is that Sunstar refused to leave Cybertron when Sunstorm offered him the chance. I still mourn the demise of all our friends who didn't leave on the "Unity" but stayed behind to try and sort out the conflict in a peaceful manner. I have been alone with all my knowledge for a long time, so your presence here is a light in the darkness for me Thundercracker. Whatever you decide, just know that you have my support." The medic gives the serkhar a small smile and a gentle caress to a wingtip._

"And you have always been the light in my darkness. I thank you, my friend." Thundercracker murmurs into the empty corridor as he walks towards the location of his quarters, repeating the last words he told Ratchet before he left the medic to get some more recharge.

His thoughts wander to the fact that the "Unity" is out there. If Sunstorm filled the ancient cybertronian flagship to its full capacity before he departed Cybertron their numbers are still low, but not as critical as the few hundred sparks currently residing on Earth.

The "Unity" is a massive battleship able to house more than ten thousand sparks. During the war against the Quintessons it had been under Thundercracker's complete control, basically because the serkhars easier could evacuate it if their enemies grew bold enough to attack them and managed to score a fatal hit.

The "Unity" had served them in the last stage of the Quintesson war and had been designed to fit Sunstorm specifically with his sigma ability, enabling it to react fast and emerge at the location of emergency within few minutes of an attack, unleashing the several battalions of serkhars onboard to deal with the threat, rescue troops or act as air support, taking out the danger of the Quintessonian flagships usually posing the largest threat to their troops on the ground. The yellow and golden serkhar's sigma ability boosted the vessels warping ability, hull defense and stealth of the battleship whenever it was needed. It had been the key in winning the war to be able to be all around the large planet in a matter of minutes and not expending more energon than it took to keep one serkhar energized.

Several dozen vorns after the last skirmish with the Quintessons in Cybertronian air space it had been decided to station it in permanent orbit on the dark side of Cybertron's moon, only accessible by very few among their people, but close enough that it still posed an obvious threat should the Quintessons ever decide to return.

With a small sigh at times long gone his mind returns to the matter at hand. The talk with Ratchet has done him good and he feels ready to face Starscream and the inevitable confrontation he needs to have with the seeker to sort his processor and regain faith in a future with both the tricolored seeker and Skywarp. With a mind no longer ruled by emotions he is prepared to sit down and listen instead of verbally attacking and demanding the explanation from the seeker. Yes Sunstar is dead, but as Ratchet reminded him, so are so many, many others as well. He shouldn't condemn the seeker for his action without knowing the reason and basis behind the action.

When he stops in front of the door into his quarters, he instantly sees the small datapad discreetly placed against it on the floor. With a frown he briefly kneels to pick it up and flickers it online.

_-Thundercracker._

_I give you my deepest apologies for entering your quarters without your consent. Do know that I only did what I did because Starscream was deeply affected and at some point during your absence he tried to contact the command center, which unfortunately went unnoticed for an unknown time. I tried to contact you, but was unable to reach you and upon a communication with Ratchet it turned out that you might not return to your quarters before tomorrow._

_Once again I ask you to forgive me my entering without consent. I don't know how wise it was of me to face Starscream in the state he was in and with how vulnerable he clearly felt in my presence. Give him my apologies as well._

_Mirage.-_

Looking up from the datapad, Thundercracker stares at the door, his frown deepening. He doesn't like that anyone has been able to break the encryption on the lock, or that anyone has been inside his quarters without his consent, but Mirage is one of the more reasonable among the autobots. Yet, he is currently also a growing threat and Thundercracker is unsure about how to deal with the knowledge the spy is in possession of.

He is loath to turn on his new allies to safeguard the secret about the other ancients, but his hardwired protective coding is stirring with each piece that is revealed in the large puzzle and if it becomes necessary he is going to do what is needed to protect Ratchet and the others still hopefully out there somewhere, even if it means killing Mirage and anyone else in possession of the knowledge.

While he has been with the autobots for months and fought for their cause, he is after all not one of them. He follows his own agenda and nothing is going to lead him astray.

When he realizes that he once again has spaced out he takes a deep breath to calm himself down before he keys in the code to the door. The door slides aside with a gentle swoosh and he steps into the darkness of his office.

"Light to 50%" He commands, his optics completely blind in the darkness, and all he can discern is faint contours of the room. When his command isn't followed he frowns. Taking a few steps into the room, his thrusters connects with something on the floor and sharp pangs of pain registers in the delicate parts when something lodges itself into them as he takes another step.

The pain sharpens his alertness and with systems readying themselves for battle he scans for any life sign. Starscream is somewhere in there and with optics not yet adjusted enough to the darkness to navigate through whatever is littering the floor he is ready for an attack at any moment. As he takes one more step, the light from the corridor spills into the room and enlightens parts of it in an eerie light.

Utter destruction. It is almost like a battlefield and the glittering energon splashed on every surface is adding to the nightmarish illusion.

His office is completely trashed and the culprit is curled into a shivering protective ball in the middle of it all where he has collapsed after the rage left him completely exhausted.

Remembering Mirage's words, Thundercracker quells the immediate angry emotions and steps closer to the seeker before he kneels beside Starscream and runs his hands along the shivering plating, checking for damages. When he finds none he leans back with a sigh, both relieved and exasperated.

With a wince at the pain shooting through his systems from his thrusters, he carefully lifts the seeker and carries Starscream through the debris littering the floor of the office and into the berth room. There he gently places the tricolored seeker on the berth before he lies down beside Starscream, suddenly feeling completely fatigued.

Their talk will have to wait until they both are fit to deal with the emotions.

Embracing and hugging the seeker closer to him, feeling how Starscream unconsciously snuggles into the warmth of his frame, Thundercracker enters recharge with a sigh and a small fond smile.


	14. Dreams and memories entwine

Lost to the world and the fact that Thundercracker is now recharging beside him, Starscream is caught up in a dreamscape created by one of Thundercracker's memories that just like one of his own unintentionally got shared in their merge. While Thundercracker got an insight into the harshness of the beginning of their war, Starscream however is greeted by one of Thundercracker's most precious moments.

" _You wanted to see me Thundercracker?" Solarwinds light and smooth voice inquires as he steps into Thundercracker's office onboard the "Unity"._

_The serkhar commander is a fearsome sight with his impressive wings sweeping on his back, attention turned to the window showing the airspace surrounding the large battleship where one of his specialized squadrons currently is training to engage and destroy heavy artillery._

_The quintessonian flagships are equipped with massive turrets releasing projectiles as large as a serkhar frame and when they connect with the surface of the planet they cause great destruction in their wake and create some horrendous craters. The units purpose is to disable those weapons and come out of the close encounters unscarred._

_With a flicker of a wing, Thundercracker indicates that he has heard the other, but beyond that he doesn't turn his attention away from the ongoing outside the battleship._

_He is distantly aware of the sound of thrusters as Solarwind walks closer, but it is first when sensuous, daring hands begins to caress his back between his wings, and slowly snakes around to trace the lines along his canopy that his attention is drawn from his troops and onto the other serkhar with him._

" _I didn't call you here for that." He protests, but his voice is a low rumbling purr and when the deft fingers traces the sensitive transition between glass and plate he throws his head back with a low groan._

" _I know Sir." Solarwind replies with a smile, his attention drawn to the highly sensitive area at the base of Thundercracker's neck._

" _Then why are you-" Thundercracker doesn't manage to say further, because just then hot lips connects with the base plating of his neck and the sensor clusters located there, which connects the sensory net from his wings with his internal systems. Triggered right, the flow of data at the touch completely wipes the processor for several seconds and sends him crashing to his knees._

_When he is able to feel and see again, he is on the floor with Solarwind straddling his hips and the red, white and black serkhar is rubbing his pelvic plating suggestively against his spike cover._

" _I just want you Thunder. Right here, right now." Solarwind murmurs seductively before he leans down to kiss the blue serkhar feverishly and prevent Thundercracker from saying anything. The 'snick' of a valve cover releasing sounds moments later and the feeling of hot lubricant dripping from the valve and onto his slowly heating spike cover makes it hard for the blue serkhar to resist and protest the advance._

" _This- isn't like you Solarwind. What has brought this on?" Thundercracker hesitantly asks when his lips finally are released from the lip-lock and he is able to breath in air to cool his heating frame._

" _Starfall." Solarwind growls, and suddenly his field are full of fluctuating feelings, most showing his resentment towards their political leader. While Thundercracker is their military leader, the green and grey serkhar controls everything else and Solarwind, as strategist and tactician, has his share of meetings with Starfall._

_Where Thundercracker is humble, calm and controlled, Starfall is loud, pompous and manipulating and not always seeking the best for all their people. But there is no one else who wants to deal with the burden of leadership. Thundercracker is too occupied with leading their troops against their enemies, cooperating with Alpha Trion who leads the land based attacks and even if he had had the time the blue serkhar has never really been interested in that kind of leadership, even if Solarwind is sure he would do perfectly well in the role as their political leader._

" _What is he doing now that gets your circuits in such a twist that you are acting like this?" Thundercracker sighs exasperated, but his field is full of the fond feelings he has for the red, white and black serkhar currently straddling him and wearing the most adorable pout he has ever seen._

_Intense amber optics stares deeply into his and the pout morphs into an outright scowl._

" _Messing with what is mine!" Solarwind growls menacingly, his field flaring with violent possessive feelings and it takes Thundercracker by surprise. Whatever Starfall is up to it has truly enraged his lover. Solarwind is one of the sweetest, most considerate and calm serkhars among their people and Thundercracker can't remember any time where he has seen the serkhar this torqued._

" _I'm sure it isn't that bad." He tries to sooth, only to flinch when Solarwind in a flurry leans down to stare intimidating into his optics._

" _You are a free sentient being. You are our commander. You are mine! He has no right! I won't allow him to enslave you like the Quintessons did. I won't!" there is a fiery flash in the amber optics as Solarwind grounds out his words as if they are poison and all Thundercracker can do is stare with wide optics as the words are spoken. Then the fire in the optics softens and lips nuzzle gently against his cheek, applying small kisses along his jawline while Solarwind for the first time confesses his feelings for his commander._

" _I love you too much to allow it." He breathes affectionately._

" _Allow what? What is it exactly he is planning?" Thundercracker asks calmly, his right hand gently caressing along the red, white and black serkhar's left temple as he stares into those entrancing optics showing so much emotion; hate, rage but also the deep love that Solarwind has just confessed._

_Confusion enters them after his questions, and Thundercracker silently chuckles at the perplex expression flashing on his lover's face. He is sure that Solarwind expected him to react to the love confession, and while he is flattered that someone has such feelings for him, his current mission is to calm Solarwind down and prepare for whatever plot Starfall is planning which seems to include him._

" _He wants a bloodline." Solarwind explains with a sigh, visibly calming at the feeling of Thundercracker's soothing touch, "While I can see the benefit in it, I don't like the way he is going about it." He lowers his head to rest against a blue shoulder._

" _And where do I enter the picture?" the blue serkhar asks, optics offline at the pleasant feeling of his lover's field intermingling with his own. He can feel the clear desperate lust and need suffusing the other and while he still soothingly nuzzles Solarwinds temple with his right hand, his left lifts to caress at a black hip, fingers innocently dipping into a seam and gently fondling at the accessible wires beneath the plating._

" _He wants you." Solarwind chokes out with despair, "He wants your coding. Wants you to create with whoever he chooses to be the other part. But he also wants, demands that you bond with the other as well. And I-… I'm not going to just give you up like that Thundercracker!" the red, white and black serkhar whines, lifting his head and showing the tears falling from the optics filled with so much spark broken despair that Thundercracker almost looks away, unable to handle all the feelings…for him._

" _Shh, calm down. Come here." He sooths comfortingly and lets out a content sigh when Solarwind once again is resting his head against his shoulder, "I'm not going to let it happen. If you haven't realized it yet, I love you too." He murmurs fondly, the hand on the hip moving to gently nuzzle between the beautiful white wings of his lover, trying to ease the trembling in them._

" _You do?" Solarwind asks in a voice so hopeful, that Thundercracker is unable to stop the gentle laughter that escapes his vocalizer at the sound of it._

" _Yes. I have for a very long time." He answers in a voice full of mirth, "So Starfall will just have to find another to suite his plan or change it to fit us. Don't worry Solarwind; I'm not going to bow to him like I usually do. It might do him well to remember that while I accept him and his antics, I am actually the true leader as long as the war is still raging." Thundercracker adds with a small chuckle, affectionately hugging Solarwind closer to reassure that he means what he is saying._

_With a deep sigh Solarwind allows himself to be reassured and melts into Thundercracker's powerful frame._

_They might be equal in size, but Thundercracker as a warrior is equipped with a lot more weapons, while Solarwind, as a strategist and tactician only have a few lasers under his plating he can engage. Most of his systems are dedicated to his processor and his analytical, strategic and tactical skills instead of fighting. He isn't meant to be out on the battlefield at all, while Thundercracker, to hone his true potential basically lives for battle._

_Sensing that his mission to calm his lover is a success, Thundercracker rolls and repositions them with himself on top of Solarwind, looking down in his lover's beautiful amber optics._

" _Do you trust me?" he asks, voice filled with seductive promises, but also holding a serious edge._

" _Yes, with my entire spark, I trust you." Solarwind replies, squirming slightly beneath the blue serkhar's heavier frame._

" _Trine with me." the request is almost a plea, whispered so low that it is barely audible._

_Solarwind instantly stiffens beneath him and his optics widens._

" _It is perfectly safe." Thundercracker tries to sooth, sensing the clear terror in Solarwinds field at the thought. "We currently have a few dozen trines in our ranks and I have kept close optics on them to see how they fare in battle and outside. According to Rachïar a trinebond isn't as dangerous as a sparkbond, but still provides some of the benefits. However, we still know very little about the ability to create the bond in the first place, but I assure you, there has been no side effect to it."_

" _What about Novablast?" Solarwind asks in uncertainty, his wingmate is just as precious to him as Thundercracker is._

" _He is an integrated part of you, I understand that completely. I'm not going to separate you from him in this. A trinebond needs three sparks to function properly. He will be our third, of course only if he wants me." Thundercracker answers with a smile._

" _And if he doesn't want to, then what?" Solarwind asks._

" _Then we won't do it. I'm just suggesting this to reassure you here and now. A trinebond makes it almost impossible for me to sparkbond, unless the one I bond to is one of my trine. That is the only issue we have observed within the trines." He murmurs, lowering his head to give Solarwind a searing kiss. "I want to be yours, in frame and spark, but the war prevents it at the moment. A trinebond however doesn't risk any of us if something should happen to either of us."_

_The red, white and black serkhar just stares at him, optics showing the lingering uncertainty. Trining is still new, and the first time it happened it got treated like a hazard, the three serkhars sent to Rachïar to be examined while the rumors milled and resulted in an outcry among the ranks. Bonding ones sparks in the middle of a war is pure suicide, but Rachïars observations calmed the worst of it when it turned out that the bond created didn't affect the sparks as deeply as a true sparkbond does._

" _I love you Solarwind. I want to sparkbond with you, want to make you mine, vow my life to yours, to protect your life with my own if it comes to it, and with the war still raging I can't promise you complete safety. What I can do is make sure that my death won't drag you down with me, while giving you a small part of what we both want and need. Say yes, please let me be yours." Thundercracker adds after a long moment's silence, his voice holding a desperate, wistful and needy note while his head hangs dejectedly. Wide sweeping wings are trembling with the emotions filling their owner and arms struggles to keep the weight of the heavier frame from collapsing and crushing Solarwind._

_If the small plea didn't undo him, the explicit erotic sight of his powerful lover looking so vulnerable above him, waiting for his judgment, does._

" _Yes." Solarwind whispers reverently, shallow breaths leaving him as his frame begins to heat up at the prospect of the unity between them. He is certain that Novablast is going to accept the offer. His wingmate knows how much Solarwind adores the commander and ever since Thundercracker took him as a lover his feelings has bloomed something fiercely, much to Novablast's exasperation, since his wingmate has had to listen to his fawning now and again._

_The next moment is a flurry of movement. Lips connect desperately, a spike cover retracts and without much ado Solarwind is impaled by Thundercracker's length, arching at the powerful feeling of the penetration. Pleasure spirals higher and higher until the valve begins to clamp down mercilessly on the spike in clear preparation for the fast approaching overload._

_And of course it is then that their little happy bubble bursts when Thundercracker receives a communication through his comline, informing the serkhar commander to a distress call from sub base 341._

_Moments later the ship wide klaxon begins to blare, rousing their troops to prepare for the impending Trans warp, and just like that Thundercracker reverts back into the deadly warrior he is at spark, their private moment gone._

_Mercilessly quelling the impending overload flowing through his systems he retracts from the tempting valve and rises, his painfully throbbing spike locked behind its cover seconds later and with a glance out the window at the vacant airspace around the battleship he leaves the room and the still dazed Solarwind to prepare for the incoming battle._

_The gently spoken "Don't die" follows him out._

With wings fluttering in distress, Starscream wakes from the memory/dream just as the "Unity" completes its Trans warp to the area of conflict and he/Thundercracker jumps out into the void, followed by the assigned squadrons to intercept the incoming hostilities above what looks to be a small outpost. The sound of the heavy artillery connecting with the surface of the planet, shot from the several flagships stationary above the area follows him into the real world and a shudder travels his whole frame at the imagined destruction created by such weapons.

What a nightmare. His spark churns at the strange feeling in his essence telling him that what he has just witnessed in the dream isn't just a dream and a chill runs down his spinal strut at the thought that someone has lived that nightmare.

Thundercracker.

And this Solarwind.

The name confuses him. Thundercracker told him Solarstorm were his sparkbonded, so who is this unknown seeker?

When the worst feeling of it slowly leaves his frame, he onlines his optics and stares into the darkness. A frown follows a moment later and as his processor slowly calms down and the memory/dream becomes a bit vaguer than, and not as lively, as just a moment ago, he is aware of the surface beneath him and the frame he is snuggled into.

Lifting his head slightly he stares into the juncture of Thundercracker's neck and shoulder, and when he cranes his neck he looks at the most serene expression he has ever seen on the blue seeker. Calm breaths escapes the older seeker and the warmth of the plating flush against his own tempts him to snuggle in further.

Thundercracker is back.

Just for a moment he forgets everything about the memory/dream and seeks comfort in the presence of the blue seeker. Drifting in a state of complete contentment; Starscream is unaware of when he once again drifts into recharge, the blue seeker's scent, the feeling of the field gently intermingling with his own and the warmth and comfort lulling him into blessed unconsciousness again.


	15. The confrontation

When Starscream wakes up in the morning, he is alone.

Sitting up on the berth he looks around for Thundercracker, craning his neck to look through the open door into the office. He cringes at the sight of the destruction he has created the night before and wonders if Thundercracker is angry at him for it. As far as he can see, not a single piece in the previously tidy room is intact.

With a deep sigh he leans back on the berth and offlines his optics to just sort his processor and relax. The energon dispenser is ruined as well, so there is no reason for him to rise, even if his tank is churning empty.

What precisely happened last night?

His processor is muddled and his thoughts are dizzying.

Images flashes through his processor, too fast for him to quite grasp and understand.

A tricolored seeker in red, white and black.

Thundercracker all regal and stoic at a window.

The feelings following the rush of images fill him with want and jealousy.

There had been something between Thundercracker and that seeker and whatever it was it annoys him to not remember clearly.

He is drawn from his thoughts at the sound of the door swooshing open, and as he onlines his optics he sits up again, neck craning to see who it is.

At the sight of Thundercracker walking in, two cubes of energon in his hands, Starscream straightens a bit more. The scent of the fresh energon is strong above the stale smell from the energon littering every surface of the office and when Thundercracker turns towards the berth room, Starscream looks forward to a full tank to stop its constant churning.

However the sound of the debris when Thundercracker steps on what remains of his office reminds Starscream about the inevitable apology he has to make before Thundercracker chews him out on his behavior. He isn't sure he can handle it if the blue seeker turns hard, disdainful optics on him. Skywarp always seemed immune to the intimidating sight whenever Thundercracker put him through a lecture and punishment detail after particularly nasty pranks during their Academy time, but Skywarp is also incapable of feeling any kind of guilt. And Starscream is by no means Skywarp.

Rising from the berth, he dutifully waits for when Thundercracker enters, wings held low in submission and carrying a cant of apology.

"Thundercracker, I-" he begins when Thundercracker is a few steps into the berth room, but stops when the blue seeker turns his back to him. With a stiff flicker of the wide wings Thundercracker places the cubes on the berth and then sits down, lifting his right thruster and with a wince pulls out a piece of debris, a moan of pain following the movement until his thruster is free of the obstructing piece.

Starscream just stares, feeling even guiltier, and it becomes worse at the sight of the drops of energon seeping from within the thruster.

"You are staring." Thundercracker comments evenly, optics fixated on his damaged thruster.

"I-I'm sorry Thundercracker." he blurts, taking a step towards the blue seeker before he simply just kneels and crawls closer. When close enough he reaches his hands to gently inspect the damage himself, brushing Thundercracker's hands away.

Thundercracker leans back while watching the tricolored seeker intently as he works, his field held taut against his frame and not showing any emotions.

Grunts of pain is forced from his vocalizer when Starscream begins his careful inspection, and with a ragged breath Thundercracker leans his head back, looking up into the ceiling of the room and not the seeker kneeling in front of him. He has to remind himself that the seeker tending to him isn't Solarstorm, but Starscream. In the dim darkness of the berth room, the tricolored seeker's blue color is almost black.

But looking at the ceiling does nothing about the slowly growing arousal in his frame caused by the continuous delicate caresses to his thruster and he wonders if Starscream knows what he is doing to him.

Right now it is so tempting to give in to the flaring arousal and the heat from his frame pooling so deliciously behind his spike cover, pressurizing his spike and causing it to strain against its confinement. It would be so easy to subdue Starscream, throw him on the berth and impale him. It has been such a long time since he last interfaced and with each careful stroke of the fingers in his sensitive thruster his control slips more and more.

Then, just as he is about to give in and prepare to pounce on the unsuspecting Starscream, the tricolored seeker removes his fingers and leans back with a small sigh.

"There. It is only a minor injury, something that will heal on its own, but I guess you will be sore for a while." Starscream explains in a tone showing his relief at the fact that the injury isn't serious. The relief, however, only lasts for as long as it takes him to lift his head and look into smoldering indigo blue optics and Thundercracker can almost feel how the sight of his fiery arousal is speeding up Starscreams spark pulse.

He doesn't know if it is out of fear or excitement, and currently he doesn't even care. He is on the very edge of his control and aware that he is losing the internal battle to regain it. It doesn't help that Starscream just stays there, kneeling submissively in front of him.

With the very last vestige of control he rises from the berth and tries to lay some distance between himself and Starscream. The tricolored seeker flinches slightly at the sudden movement, and Thundercracker can feel the red optics follow him as he walks towards the door.

"Thundercracker…?" There is puzzlement in Starscreams voice and he fights against the urge to turn around. Gently releasing his tight control on his field, he reaches out and is confirmed with the suspicion that Starscream yet has to move from the kneeling position.

"We can't Starscream." He answers the unspoken question.

"Why not? I want it, you want it… What is the problem?" Starscream asks with clear confusion in his voice.

"Because we can't!" He can hear how lame his excuse sounds and knows that Starscream isn't going to leave the issue be. This shouldn't have happened at all. He shouldn't have let Starscream tend to his thruster. He knew what it would do, yet he just passively allowed it to happen, and now they are in this situation.

"Why?" Starscream predictably counters, and there is hurt in the voice now.

A deep sigh leaves the blue seeker's vocalizer before he turns around to face Starscream, who at this point is standing with flared wings and an indignant expression on his face.

"Because I don't know if I can trust you. Because of what you have done in your past. I need to talk to you about one of your memories of Vos and my counterpart. I need to know your reasons for entering the war." Thundercracker explains, and fights valiantly to keep his wings from drooping.

At this point any sort of arousal that had been is firmly killed, and Starscreams flared wings begins to tremble as he stares with wide optics at Thundercracker, mouth slightly agape, lips moving, but no sound escaping. Then after a minute the white wings lowers submissively and Starscream looks away from Thundercracker's adamant stare, clearly ashamed.

"You don't know how it feels to not matter." The tricolored seeker whispers in an even voice carrying a cant of anger.

When all that greets his statement is silence, Starscream looks up from where he has been staring at the floor.

The look in Thundercracker's optics causes him to flinch. There is that hard disdainful stare he wanted to avoid, but there is also hurt in them as well, and it is then that he realizes how his words must have sounded to Thundercracker. As if the sacrifices made during the Quintesson war is nothing compared to his own suffering at the Council and Senate's hands.

"I know better than anyone how it is to not matter, Starscream. Never presume that you have sacrificed as much as me or any of those who fought and died by my side so that you and your band of decepticons could be free sentient beings! And what is the gratitude for all our sacrifices? Our population reduced to the very verge of extinction! Maybe we deserve to simply die out and be forgotten." The words are harsh and ruthlessly voiced through gritted dentas. It takes a great deal of the blue seeker's control to not backhand Starscream for his insolence to presume that he has suffered.

"No! I… No Thundercracker it wasn't what I meant!" Starscream pleads, cowering at the sight of Thundercracker truly enraged, and he can feel the ruthless warrior in the blue seeker's violently flaring field, it is like a punch to his midsection and he collapses to his knees awestruck and fearful.

"Then explain!" He sternly demands of the tricolored seeker, not hiding his disappointment at the fact that a seeker with so much potential turned into an instrument of destruction. It is time for some hard truths, and it doesn't help Starscream any if he hides his true feelings when he learned that his most promising students turned into murderers.

It was the initial reason for him to capture Starscream, and even if the Prime tries to negotiate with Megatron about the release of the seeker, Thundercracker has no intention to let Starscream out of his sight. What started as a quest to understand what went wrong has ended up affecting him more than he want to accept. Emotions runs strongly inside him and the sight of Starscream cowering and fearful at his feet doesn't please him the least, but if it is what is needed to regain trust and bring them on track again, he accepts what needs to be done.

"Explain it to me Starscream." He demands again, this time a bit more gentle and he kneels down beside the shivering tricolored frame and caresses a violently trembling white wing. The flinch at his touch makes him regret it all a tiny bit, but he desperately needs to get them back to where they were before, and that can only happen through some hardships.

"I'm not going to hurt you Starscream. I just need to know. Tell me." he adds, purring reassuringly while keeping the touch on the wing gentle and soothing, rubbing the plating in circles.

"It should only have been a peaceful rebellion to gather attention from the society to the wrongness happening in front of their optics. Mechs were dying due to starvation in a presumably rich society. It was so wrong, but no one cared, and no one listened to our protests. The only thing it did was getting the attention from the ones starving, giving them a weak hope, and when that was crushed, mechs having nothing to lose began yelling and demanding that the Council and Senate be made aware in any way possible, even using violence." Starscream explains, field showing his desperation at recalling the hardships back then.

"Me and 'Warp, we knew of all this due to our assignments. We got sent outside Vos on duties now and then and encountered the starving and the beginning rebellion. It was a cause worth supporting, and Megatron was different back then. Then the peaceful protests became violent, and we were marked as criminals everywhere except inside Vos, where you yet had to learn about the escalating crisis. We went to Sunstar to ask for help, but he refused to support us. He wanted Vos to stay neutral in the growing conflict." The tricolored seeker explains further, guilt hanging heavily in his field.

"So you killed him?" Thundercracker asks.

"Yes. We killed our own Winglord. The rebellion desperately needed the strength in the seekers on our side to battle against the merciless war machine the Council and Senate sent against us or we would have been wiped out within a vorn. I wasn't the one suggesting it, but I became the one carrying out the mission. We felt betrayed by our own leader and didn't think deeper into the reasons for his refusal. We trined with you a few days prior to the mission and used your knowledge to guide us to his hideout when the rest of the rebellion launched attacks on Vos to distract the rest of the population from what was going to happen. Vos burned and those not joining us would as well." Starscream answers, his field thick with guilt and shame.

"Did you know that Sunstar was my descendant?" the blue seeker asks when it is clear that Starscream is done talking.

"No…?" Starscreams dreadful voice is merely a whisper, the horror in his field almost palpable.

"Yes. He was the only one beside myself able to carry on the ancient coding. The Winglord has always been born instead of built. It has been so ever since I sparked the first one at the end of the Quintesson war. That is all I will let you know." The blue seeker explains evenly.

"I'm so sorry Thundercracker. I truly didn't know!"

"And it wouldn't have mattered if you had. You needed the seekers; my relation to the one keeping the forces from you would hardly have made any difference. But what hurts me is the fact that you used me to get to him. Technically I'm responsible for his death as well." He sighs in answer to Starscreams panicky reply.

"I'm still sorry. You have lost so much." Starscream looks away, his wings drooping and trembling slightly, the guilt and shame still strong in his field. It is clear to Thundercracker that the seeker in front of him truly regrets what has been done and it eases the pain in his spark.

"It is okay Starscream. I don't resent you for what you did. So many atrocities have been committed in this war and not all of those by the decepticons. I understand that and I'm not going to condemn you for what you did when so many others have done worse. I just needed to know your reasons. That memory you unintentionally shared with me during our merge showed me your attack on Vos and the death of Sunstar. It hurt a lot to witness and shook my faith in you, but seeing your guilt and shame, I forgive you." Thundercracker reassures with a small smile.

His touch on the wing moves along the tricolored frame, and is joined by his other hand as he gently forces Starscream to look at him. Then slowly, allowing the seeker time to protest he closes the distance and touches his lips against Starscreams. The seeker is frozen for several long seconds, lips unresponsive as if what is happening is too improbable for him to comprehend.

After this emotional ride Thundercracker still desires him?

"You don't want me?" Thundercracker asks when he breaks the one-sided kiss, leaning back and studying Starscream with his usual frown.

"D-don't want you?!" Starscream stutters, wings flaring out wide in surprise.

"Well, I can understand if my behavior towards you today has killed any interest in me. I just desperately needed to know your reasoning for what you did and whether you regretted your actions or not before I went any further with you." The blue seeker explains.

"You want me?" The incredulous statement makes Thundercracker laugh, but it isn't long before he is tackled by a suddenly eager tricolored frame.

Flat on his back, the blue seeker keeps laughing as Starscream straddles his hips, taking the very position that Solarwind had in Thundercracker's memory. The sight of Thundercracker sprawled unabashedly beneath him is intoxicating, and the feeling of the powerful thrumming from within the blue seeker is filling his whole frame with a delicious charge.

It takes no time before he is running his hands greedily along the lines of Thundercracker's frame, truly exploring it for the very first time and taking in all their differences at once. The powerful thrumming grows as his hands travels along the hips, over Thundercracker's midsection and cockpit to stop at the chestplates. At this location the thrumming almost feels like an earthquake, and he wonders how Thundercracker can stand the shaking this close to his sparkchamber.

"I see you have found one of my secrets." Thundercracker teases, seeing the frown forming on Starscreams face as the tricolored seeker feels against his chestplates. Before Starscream is able to voice out anything, Thundercracker has already reached and is parting the thick layers of metal protecting his inner circuitry and revealing one of the major differences between their builds.

Thundercracker has two fuel pumps.

"So this is why I can never outpace you. You are cheating!" Starscream scolds, but with a smile.

"Born with it. Not cheating." Thundercracker teases back, closing up the plating again and efficiently rolling them around and pinning Starscream to the floor while moving his hips suggestively in-between Starscreams.

"Wait! Hold up. Born with it? How does that actually work? If you could create like that back then, why can't we now?" Starscream asks confused.

"Starscream, the ability to create like that belonged to the ancient frames. The period it took carrying the unborn was a whole vorn, and then when it emerged it was like we all were before sentience formed. It took so much work to get a sentient, independent cybertronian out of the old way of creating that we found a new one with the help of Vector Sigma." Thundercracker explains, blue optics looking deeply into red and slowly the confused expression on Starscream changes.

"I can still create, and every one of you living here on Earth is able to carry. The only difference between our frames, in regard of the reproduction, is that you aren't able to produce the nanite rich transfluids needed to fuse with yours inside your gestation chamber. We didn't want accidents when we began mass producing your builds. It would ruin the whole purpose with the new models if you all could create like that as well. Your spikes are also shorter, so that you don't accidentally puncture the barrier separating the valve from the gestation chamber. It would mess with your reproduction protocols if that happened and it would be painful to have a frame preparing itself to carry without actually be carrying." Thundercracker adds and then smiles at the sight of Starscream taking in every word with deep fascination.

"I'm able to create life?" Starscream asks airily after a moment's silence, a hand absentmindedly caressing at his midsection. The presence of a gestation chamber had always been a wonder to their people, and now he has the missing piece to that puzzle.

"Yes. But we won't. I will be careful to avoid any breach of the barrier when I penetrate you. Now, open up. I know you want me just as much as I want you little seeker." Thundercracker murmurs and lowers his head to nuzzle at Starscreams and pecking small kisses along cheeks and jawline, coaxing his passive partner to allow him inside the tempting warm and willing valve only separated from his spike by two thin layers of metal.

At the sound of the valve cover retracting, he retracts his spike cover and grinds their frames gently against each other while his spike extends from its confinement, creating some delicious frictional pleasure before he positions his fully erect and pressurized spike at the rim of the valve and slowly hilts himself within the wet warmth.

A small whimper escapes Starscreams vocalizer at the feeling of the girt of the spike spreading his valve wide, straining the lining in an almost painful degree. His trinemate had been large, but Thundercracker beats that easily and it raises some curiosity in him that he ruthlessly discards for later as the spike bumps into his ceiling node and forces a scream of painful pleasure from him.

"I'm going to be gentle with you Starscream." Thundercracker grunts into his audio, voice strained with pleasure and his mind fighting against his frames desire to just pound into the valve.

The only answer Starscream is able to give is a jerky nod, his frame trembling and his vocalizer reduced to useless static. Primus, he is going to be so sore tomorrow, but it is worth it to have this intimate moment with the blue seeker. Everything isn't perfect, but if what Thundercracker confessed is true, then he might have a complete trine again soon.

Skywarp will be so overjoyed, if just the black and purple seeker can accept that this Thundercracker isn't his Thundercracker and never will be again. The personality is completely different, and Starscream is aware that the seeker he has called trinemate for all these vorns was a cripple and barely a complete personality.

Then any thought is erased from his processor as Thundercracker begins a slow dragging pace in and out of his valve, the spike massaging his sensor nodes in just the right ways to create cascade after cascade of pleasure. He isn't even aware of when the pace slowly increases as his valve adjusts to the size of the spike and Thundercracker is able to move more freely without any fear of hurting him.

As he clings to the blue frame, he can feel the tensions in it, and onlines the optics he didn't even know he had offlined. Thundercracker is looking down at him with a pained expression and Starscream realizes that he is holding back with all his strength to not go further than the ceiling node. The sheer willpower in the act is overwhelming and his spark swells at the sight of how much Thundercracker cares, enough to withhold his own pleasure to protect him from harm. But I also make him frown. He wants Thundercracker to be able to relax in moments like this.

"I can read your mind Starscream. Don't ever go there. Solarstorm and Novastar did, and without my knowledge. I don't want you to give up the ability to carry for my sake. So erase it from your processor. I can assure you that I will force Ratchet to deny you the option." Thundercracker pants, shaking his head to clear it before he loses the internal battle against his own protocols urging him to thrust just that tiny bit further into the valve and breach the barrier, which will send him into a cascading series of overloads until he has filled the gestation chamber completely with his transfluids.

"It is my frame. You have no right to decide what I do or don't." Starscream protests in between several static whines from his vocalizer.

At that, Thundercracker stops moving and looks down at the tricolored seeker with a peculiar expression. It's almost a semi frown and smile, as if Thundercracker can't decide if he should laugh or scold.

"And what if I someday want to create with you?" the blue seeker whispers gently, the words smooth and promising, the field carrying a sense of hope and want.

"But… You didn't want to. You said we won't." Starscream protests perplex.

"We won't do it now. I didn't say we never would. I don't know how well Cybertron is, and how functional Vector Sigma is. It might be the only choice we have to repopulate, and I really want to create with you Starscream. If I hadn't had my trine when I educated you and Skywarp I might have pursued you as trinemates after you had graduated. I know I'm way older than you both and probably a lot more grouchy and burdened by the experience of a long life of hardships, but I am certain you and Skywarp would have dragged me out of the isolation I am so fond of." Thundercracker smiles, and a small chuckle escapes him as he imagines what could have been and what might be.

It is then he realizes that the loss of his trine and sparkbonded doesn't hurt him that much anymore. That he is actually moving on in his thoughts and that he can have a future where he isn't going to destabilize as the hollowness in his spark slowly drives him insane.

That is what he knows Solarstorm would want for him, to remain healthy and happy with someone who cares for him as much as Solarstorm himself did. It is still painful to let go of so many vorns of love and feelings and enter something new, but if he should chose it would be Starscream anytime.

"Let's finish up before anyone comes looking for me and ruins this pleasurable moment." He smiles, lowering his head to kiss Starscream deeply and resumes thrusting. He is aware that Ratchet might contact him within the next hours to report Skywarps state after the night.

The fact that everything so far has remained calm is a good sign and tells him that Skywarp has survived the night without any further complications, but he needs to await Ratchet's report before anything is certain. And then he needs to explain the progress to Starscream. It is only fair that the seeker knows of his trinemates state now that Skywarp hopefully is stabil.


	16. Skywarp

Snick. Click, click, click.

Starscream turns his head and looks at Thundercracker over his shoulder at the sound and feeling of the cuffs now restraining his hands on his back, beneath his wings.

"Too tight?" Thundercracker asks, feeling the disgruntled gaze fixed on him as he secures the cuffs around Starscreams wrists, checking their fit by pulling slightly on them.

"No." Starscream answers, voice slightly shaken and he moves his wings to compensate for the imbalance caused by Thundercracker's pull. It rattles him to be this vulnerable and his unhappiness is clear in the twitching of his wings.

But there is a purpose with it all.

The prospect of seeing Skywarp is enough for him to suffer a bit, and after their confrontation and following consolation, Starscream know that he can trust Thundercracker to take care of him and protect him whenever he himself is unable to defend himself.

"Are you ready?" Thundercracker asks, drawing Starscream back to the here and now, his hands gently caressing the twitching wings.

"Yes." He is as ready as he is able to be. Still, the feeling of being unable to defend himself is irking him and is only soothed a bit when Thundercracker leans against him, head tilting and resting on his shoulder to look at him closely from behind, optics studying him closely, the field a blanket of reassurance and fierce protection.

"No one is going to hurt you as long as I'm here. I might reside with them, but I am no autobot Starscream. I have no qualms about putting them in their place if they step over the line." Thundercracker rumbles, his wings moving to embrace Starscream, showing the empty spots on his blue wings in a sort of reassurance and reinforcing his statement.

The words gain a small smile in reply and Starscream leans into the strengthening feeling of Thundercracker's field covering him completely like an invisible shield.

"I'm ready. I need to see Skywarp." His voice is steady and he finds enough reassurance in Thundercracker's presence to stop his wings from twitching too much, and then with a wry smile adds "even if it would be nice to stay here with you like this. And free of the cuffs of course. Those I really would like to be without. I wouldn't be able to touch you otherwise."

"I guess you are ready for this if you are regaining some of your wit." Thundercracker adds wryly, pecking a kiss to a cheek before withdrawing his head from Starscreams shoulder and carefully leading the tricolored seeker towards the exit of his office. The maze of destruction still lingering inside the office threatens to collapse Starscream several times and only the continued strong and steady grip around his waist keeps him from falling.

"If it wasn't for the need to know that Sky is okay, I wouldn't leave your quarters at all Thundercracker. Don't mistake my nervous tics with wit. There is so many of these autobots who wants to see me dead. I have killed many a friend of theirs during this war, and they have killed mine. Skywarp is so precious to me that I'm going to risk this to be by his side when he hopefully wakes up. I don't want the first thing he sees to be an autobot sigil." Starscream confesses honestly, leaning heavily on the blue seeker as they step through the door and out into the corridor.

Glancing up and down corridor, Starscream sags a bit when there is no one else but them there and easily falls into step with Thundercracker when the blue seeker leads them down the long walkway and deeper into the heart of the autobot base.

Thundercracker can feel Starscream tense at the first sight of one of the autobots. And of all of them, it has to be Ironhide they meet.

His wings rise and flares in response to Starscreams uneasiness towards the weapons specialist and unconsciously shields Starscream's back completely as they pass the autobot. If Ironhide should get any ideas he would be hitting Thundercracker as well, and the prospect is sure to discourage him from doing anything.

They might fight together on the battlefield, but Thundercracker knows about Ironhide's aversion towards anything related to seekers and he isn't going to hesitate in retaliating.

The next one they meet is Hound. The tracker just looks on curiously as the pair pass him, Thundercracker nodding in greeting and giving a small smile.

Then the next moment they are at the medical bay and Ratchet's domain.

"Ready?" he asks the tricolored seeker before he keys the door to open, giving Starscream a moment to prepare for what he is going to see.

He hasn't told the seeker much about Skywarps state, and Ratchets report only contained the fact that the repair finally seems to integrate and no further weld tears are to be expected.

He is going to be able to repair Skywarps outer frame in a few days. Until then the black and purple seeker is going to remain in his disgruntled ruined state. It is going to be a shock for Starscream to see the extent of the outer damage and know that the internal damage had been the worst.

It still pains Thundercracker that it is him who has done all that damage to the seeker and the fact that Starscream didn't turn to yell at him, when he told about Skywarps state, doesn't ease him the least. He still expects Starscream to turn on him when he sees the full extent.

"Yes." Starscream nods, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly to calm his nerves.

The door swooshes open with a series of blips and Ratchet looks up from his workbench as they walk in.

"Be there in a moment." He tells them, before turning towards the bench again and sorting through something before he grabs a datapad and tabs on it for a while.

Starscreams gaze takes in the large room, optics scanning for any presence of his trinemate but not finding any. His worry grows and seems to flow into his fields, since Thundercracker hugs him a bit closer at the waist before he lowers his head and points towards a door among several others lining the wall to their left.

"He is fine. Don't worry Starscream. He is just still laid up in the ICU since there is no point in moving him before he is awake and well enough to be disconnected from the several monitors following his vitals. He is in no danger, just recovering." Thundercracker explains his voice low and soothing.

"He is right." Ratchet confirms, causing Starscream to jolt in surprise. His worry overshadowing everything so much that he didn't notice when the medic had moved.

"Come." Thundercracker smiles when Ratchet gestures for them to follow him to the room housing Skywarp.

"He is still in stasis lock?" Starscream tentatively asks as he stares through the window in the door and at the prone frame of his trinemate. The sight of Skywarp laid out open and vulnerable on the berth is almost unbearable.

The countless welds indicating where the medics have worked on the seeker is standing out like crisscrossing beacons along Skywarps sleek frame telling the tale of a seeker coming as close to death as possible without passing over.

And here he has been fooling around with Thundercracker while his trinemate fought and still fights for his life.

A small trembling starts in his wingtips and moves along his wings, down his frame, to his legs and without his hands to balance him, he collapses to the floor like a rag doll, Thundercracker not reacting fast enough to prevent the fall.

"Starscream?" The blue seeker gently asks, fearing that the reaction he has feared ever since he told Starscream about Skywarp is finally coming.

But Starscream surprises him, turning what Thundercracker expected would be an explosive reaction into self-hate.

"I'm an awful trinemate and leader, aren't I?" he asks in a tiny voice, despair flowing into his field and feeling almost suffocating to the blue seeker with their fields overlapping as they are.

"No, Starscream. No. You are the perfect trinemate and I am sure you have been a good leader for your trine. Don't doubt yourself. What happened to Skywarp isn't your fault, it is mine. I didn't need to release my sonic weapon, but I did, and it caused great damage. For that I am sorry. I'm not meant to damage any of those I have vowed to protect and you as my once students fall under that category." Thundercracker replies adamantly to Starscreams outburst of despair.

"Do you want to sit by him for a bit?" Ratchet asks, keeping himself in the background to not disturb their interaction too much. The way Thundercracker reaches out to sooth Starscreams apparent emotional pain is making him curious and is answering some questions of his own.

"You would really allow me to do that?" Starscream asks incredulous as he stares at the medic with wide optics shining with repressed tears now finally given free in his shock.

"He is your trinemate Starscream. I wouldn't keep you separated more than necessary, and now that he is past the most critical phase in his recovering there is no longer any point. Just be careful and not touch any of the monitors." Ratchet explains, a small smile creeping into his lips at the sight of Starscream this taken by surprise.

This Starscream is one he hasn't seen before. They are all used to the sneering disdainful decepticon Air commander, not this youthful seeker currently in front of him. Thundercracker truly knows how to twist the seeker towards a more reasonable direction.

He can't honestly see this Starscream return to the decepticons.

Now is only to be seen if Thundercracker is able to work his magic on Skywarp as well.

"Yes. I would very much like to sit by him." Starscream finally answers the question, allowing Thundercracker to help him to stand again and support him through the door and to the little chair placed discreetly at the head of the berth.

The room is still stuffed with machinery, but not nearly as many as when Thundercracker first was there, why there is room for the little chair.

Without a word Thundercracker leaves the room, the door remaining open, but both Ratchet and the blue seeker retreating further into the medical bay, leaving Starscream some peace and alone time with his trinemate.

At first he just stares, unable to believe the extent of damage visible on Skywarps frame. Up close it all looks even worse and he silently thanks Primus for sparing his trinemate. Then as the minutes tick by he gathers enough courage to reach a shaking hand to caress a cheek and follow the jawline.

There is no reaction, and if not for the feeling of the warm plating Skywarp could just as well be dead.

A tortured sob escapes him and tear after tear begins to flow from his optics. His hand travels down to Skywarps prone hand and grabs it fiercely, as if it is the only lifeline keeping him alive.

"Come back to me Sky. Please be okay." He begs, almost crushing the hand in his grip.

* * *

"How is he?" Ratchet asks when they have left Starscream alone in the ICU.

"Moving on. Just like myself." Thundercracker smiles, but a glance towards the ICU slowly erases it and his guilt is easily detectable in his field.

"No guilt Thundercracker. You know the rule. You don't carry the world on your shoulder. You are not infallible. Mistakes happen and we deal with what we have. Starscream clearly doesn't blame you so don't blame yourself." Ratchet orders sternly.

"I know Rachïar. But I can't stop being who I am. I hurt him. Hurt them both. I have a hard time forgiving myself for it and I'm waiting for the moment where Starscream turns his back on me in anger for what I did. I would be better off if he would just get it done and over with. Anger I can deal with, this waiting is driving me to the edge." The blue serkhar replies, wings drooping sadly on his back.

"Thundercracker, sometimes you are dense. Did it ever occur to you that Starscream might love you enough to forgive your mistakes? Seeing you interact, it is clear to me that you both harbor feelings for each other. He might not be all lovey dovey towards you, but he is drawing a lot of strength from you and has changed a lot over the last few days, in fact ever since you captured him. Such change doesn't come out of nowhere, or without reason." Ratchet adds, exasperated.

"I just see him as potential trine. Nothing more. Any more is too soon. And I still have to work with Skywarp when he wakes up." Thundercracker protests, but without any true conviction.

"Too soon? You interfaced with him. Don't think I can't see the signs. Right now he is too distracted by worry to feel or realize it himself, but he is limping and stiff, you holding him around his waist kept him from realizing how obvious it is. This is not just trine interest Thundercracker. You are looking for someone to fill the empty hollow Solarstorm's death left in your spark." Ratchet points out in a hushed voice.

"You don't approve." Thundercracker's wings, if possible, droops even more at that.

"On the contrary I do approve." The medic corrects his statement. At the perking of the blue wings, Ratchet meets Thundercracker's wide optics with a genuine smile.

"You need to move on. It has been months and I know that the merges with the Aerialbots has helped you through the worst from your trinemates deaths, but it is clear to me that it isn't enough. Your spark obviously need and longs for that deeper connection. Something Silverbolt and his gestalt brothers are unable to provide you." He then adds with a sigh.

"So if Starscream is the one you desire I'm going to accept and encourage you to go for it. The Starscream currently sitting inside that ICU isn't the one I imagined you together with, and seeing you together it is obvious that you have already chosen, whether he is aware of it or not is another matter, and something I leave for you to explain. It is going to be a heavy burden on his shoulders to carry your secrets, but I have faith that if the love is true, he will keep them." Ratchet completes his little encouraging speech with a glance towards the ICU and the seeker who has clearly captured his ancient friend's spark without knowing it.

"And here I expected a lecture of how completely reckless and stupid I am. By the way, I was careful when we interfaced, just so you don't need to give me the speech of that irresponsibility." Thundercracker adds offhandedly, his own gaze going towards the ICU. He can just discern a tip of one of Starscream's wings through the open door.

"Oh, I know that you don't need it. But he does if you are to go through with this. He needs to know everything to avoid unnecessary mistakes. Or, I could try and design something similar to your termination protocols and have him try that. I don't want it to be as drastic as the procedure Solarstorm and Novastar asked for when they realized that you weren't going to transfer like the rest of us." Ratchets words are careful, and the speed with which Thundercracker turns on him, wings flared and his sonics rumbling is warning enough to not go deeper into the sensitive topic the removal of the gestation chamber is for the serkhar.

"Cybertron might be dead, Vector Sigma just as well. There is no other way for us to create other than the old way. I will not let you take that chance away from Starscream! Is he even able to reform the barrier if you implement termination protocols?" Thundercracker growls, his optics narrowing to thin slits, while his sonics offlines and the barely discernible rattling in the whole room silences.

"It should be possible." Ratchet answers, unfazed by the strong reaction, but wisely not digging deeper into it, even if it would be the easiest way to deal with the matter.

At the time they simply didn't have the knowledge and time to develop the protocols to fit into the new frame types. Now, however Ratchet is a lot more experienced on the new frame types and has time to look into the time consuming process of fitting ancient coding into the newer.

"Then, do it." Thundercracker sighs, wings twitching unhappily, while his spark sings at the prospect of being able to truly be with his future mate.

* * *

From inside the ICU, Starscream stares at the exchange between the medic and Thundercracker, frowning at the complex emotions he is able to read in the blue seeker's wings.

Something is clearly distressing Thundercracker.

"I know you miss our trinemate, but Sky, he is truly amazing." He speaks to his unresponsive trinemate as he studies Thundercracker a bit further, his voice dreamy and wistful.

"So strong."

"So passionate."

"So dominant."

"I guess I won't be the trineleader if we trine, but I guess I'm actually okay with that as strangely as it sounds." He sighs, his spark swelling within its chamber.

He smiles stupidly as he recalls his overload a few hours earlier and how Thundercracker had thrust shallowly into him, prolonging it until the blue seeker overloaded within his valve, almost sending him into another overload when the scalding hot transfluids filled him to the brim.

But that hadn't been all. After that Thundercracker had order him on his knees and he had been presented with the spike against his lips, dripping with their shared fluids. Silver and purple drops had lined the blue spike and as he began to lick them off of it, he had come across the biolights littering the whole surface of the spike.

It had fascinated him so much that the cleaning of the spike had turned into a throughout exploration, much to Thundercracker's delight if the growing moans and groans had been any indication.

The blue seeker had overloaded not much later, splashing silvery transfluids into Starscreams mouth, along his cheeks and dripping in rivulets from the black lips.

" _So beautiful."_  Thundercracker had whispered, taking in the sight of his face sullied in the seeker's own fluids, the spike depressurizing and retracting just as Starscream recovered from the surprise at being drenched in transfluids.

Lost in the memory, Starscream isn't aware of the small spike of consciousness momentarily flashing on the monitor monitoring Skywarps processor activity.


End file.
